I'm so sorry for your loss, Hyomin. I know how it feels to lose a friend like this, and I know the shock, baggage and specially the guilt that it can bring for those who didn't see it coming. One thing you must remember and eventually accept is that whatever reason your friend had to take his life, you cannot blame yourself for it, or anyone else for that matter. It's likely your friend suffered from chronic depression, and mental illness is prone to make our brains think awful thoughts, and spur us to make terrible choices. It is a terrible shame he never got the help he needed, but this we can at least blame it on the way our society treats mental illness: like a taboo that must not be discussed, specially for young men who feel pressured to not open up about our feelings.

I will keep you in my thoughts, and hope that you and your friend's family manage to heal and overcome this pain and loss.

The topic of mental illness, its causes and its consequences is something we should all inform ourselves about, because anyone we love could have it in some form or another. It is something we should all put a little grain of salt in order to make the world better for those who suffer from it.