I completely get what you're saying, Ranjor. My first MMO was FFXI, & I still get nostalgic for dunes parties sometimes (I played healers mostly then, too, so that's not as masochistic as it sounds!) I was dragging kicking & screaming into XIV (& that was in 1.x) because it lacked all the things I loved about XI (or so I thought). When ARR was in beta, I got thoroughly cross about the idea of a duty finder (and I can't say my 1000+ runs via DF have changed my mind much either!) and I yearned for XP parties like 'the good old days'. Trouble is, nostalgia always wears rose-coloured spectacles, it's impossible to go back to 'the way things were', and yearning for the past means missing out on the fun of now. I've played XIV since day 1, and I love it. Lots of things I'd change about it, but I'd never ask for it to be XI Mark 2, because that style of MMO just doesn't appeal to be most folks any more.
If the nostalgia gets too much - it does, occasionally - I just resub to XI for a few weeks