The Disabled Gamer Thread

[DamianFatale]

Hello, my name is Damian, and I have dwarfism, anxiety, ptsd from being attacked, and a learning disability. As a result of the learning disability, I have a really difficult time learning dps rotations. That side of my brain just doesn't want to function, but I have decided that I will not let it stop me in the coming expansion. I'm going to learn Samurai, and try my best to get good at it. I can always use my healer as a safenet for days that are too much. For some reason healing as AST is a lot easier with my disability. I won't use it to give up on my goal however. If anyone else on Balmung has trouble, and wants to learn with me, let me know. Maybe I could even make a disabled/challenged LS, so that people can find comfortable people to play with.

[Jwrigh7784]

I think part of the problem we as disabled individuals face is that people who don't suffer from whatever condition we have can't truly know how debilitating they can be. Sometimes I wish I could just transfer how I feel and think to people so they can experience what I do. Back in August of last year (2016) I got a panic attack out of nowhere. Normally panic attacks last 10-20 min for most people. This one lasted nearly 2 months. Every day, 24 hours a day 7 days a week. It was the worst thing I have ever experienced in life. It was literally a living hell that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. In that nearly 2 months I lost almost 40 lbs because my body had so much adrenaline pumping through me and I couldn't hardly eat on top of that. I was in the emergency room 18 times. I was admitted to the psychiatric ward of 2 hospitals to try and find medication to stop the panic attack. At one point I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep in 7 days. I started having auditory hallucinations from lack of sleep. I called 911 for an ambulance a few times (panic attacks sometimes feel like heart attacks). When the paramedics showed up one of those times they took my vitals and my blood pressure was 200/110 and heart rate was 180. It got so bad that I began contemplating suicide. The doctors in the ER and psych units were rude and condecending. It was during those times that I wish I could share what I was feeling with them so they could truly understand. Even my wife had no clue what I was going through. I now have PTSD over the whole situation. Fortunately the panic attack stopped with the aid of antidepressant medications. My symptoms faded over time and my life started going back to normal. The PTSD I mentioned, whenever my heart rate goes above 100 I start getting really bad anxiety which makes my heart rate even higher. The whole point of me sharing this is not to get attention but to show those without disabilities what it can be like for us who have them. Sometimes it can be hell. Sometimes, at least for me, it's like my brain is rebelling against logic and reason and becomes my worst enemy. It is hard, especially when you throw in my back issues, but I still manage to wake up every day. It is nice to have a distraction like Final Fantasy XIV. I can get lost in the story. Explore beautiful and interesting environments. Get lost in the amazing music. I can make new friends and team up to tackle challenges.

[DamianFatale]

I made a linkshell On Balmung for challenged gamers. It's called Kupo Clan, because I wanted it to be discreet. I also like how friendly moogles are to others. If anyone wants to join, let Atlas Crow know. >~<

[LalaRu]

...people have no patience and tolerance in this game, they expect perfection at all times, even with doing regular contents... players behave like everything is Savage contents and kick you for anything...

This is the best and accurate assessment I ever had read of how DF is today. Kudos to you.

[Paladinleeds]

Well, I suppose it might be worth me coming out and explaining mine. So, shall we get this going? I don't have many disabilities, but they can have some profound effects on me.
Asperger's Syndrome - weakens my ability to communicate, causes me to process information differently
ADHD - causes me to really struggle to focus sometimes. Other times, I can have perfect focus. Sometimes I can become so full of energy I trigger a burnout (I think, not 100% sure on that one)
Dyspraxia - not really so much an issue with FFXIV but where precise movements are concerned, I can struggle, due to the co-ordination required that is hindered by this condition

[Eloah]

I don't feel like I have the right to post on threads like this, I know I have what would constitute as disabilities, but I always worry that mine aren't as severe as someone else's or that I'm just being lazy; I know I'm not but thoughts like that always pop into my head. I have Depression, Social Anxiety, and Asperger syndrome for my mental state, but I also suffer from Chronic Fatigue and structural damage in my feet, which causes pain to travel up my legs if I stand for too long; and I work on my feet, fun, T.T. I'm always scared to mention these things to most people since I feel the responses I'd get would be that I'm just making excuses. I know there are people who have it a lot worse then me, and I don't want to take anything away from them, but I would like to express myself more without feeling like I'm just trying to get attention. Does anyone else know what that is like?

[Jwrigh7784]

I don't feel like I have the right to post on threads like this, I know I have what would constitute as disabilities, but I always worry that mine aren't as severe as someone else's or that I'm just being lazy; I know I'm not but thoughts like that always pop into my head. I have Depression, Social Anxiety, and Asperger syndrome for my mental state, but I also suffer from Chronic Fatigue and structural damage in my feet, which causes pain to travel up my legs if I stand for too long; andI work on my feet, fun, T.T. I'm always scared to mention these things to most people since I feel the responses I'd get would be that I'm just making excuses. I know there are people who have it a lot worse then me, and I don't want to take anything away from them, but I would like to express myself more without feeling like I'm just trying to get attention. Does anyone else know what that is like?

I totally get what you are saying. I have been accused of both being lazy and seeking attention. For awhile I started believing that I was just lazy because people accused me of it so much. After years passed I began to realize that no, I was not lazy. I had real conditions which made my life difficult. I was angry at myself for allowing people to get into my head. After awhile I forgave myself and those people as well. I knew that some of those people didn't understand and the others were just jerks. For me personally, I feel like any condition that is uncontrollable that impairs a persons quality of life is a disability. It sounds like your conditions do affect your quality of life for which I am sorry. It can be tough. As far as I am concerned this thread should be a safe place for people to express themselves and openly talk about their situation without judgement. So far from what I have seen a lot of people posting here also have conditions that make their life hard so I don't see them judging. The non disabled people posting here seem very reasonable and understanding for which I am grateful. I am glad this thread is getting the positive responses it is. I was a bit scared this would blow up into a big mess of negativity. I am happy to see it thriving with real people who have real disabilities and I am glad everyone seems so understanding. Thank you all.

[Texa]

I don't feel like I have the right to post on threads like this, I know I have what would constitute as disabilities, but I always worry that mine aren't as severe as someone else's or that I'm just being lazy;

Disability is a deeply personal experience it's always going to be completely different for each person that experiences it. It's important to always remember that all pain is subjective and that instead of wondering how you compare with other people you should focus on how your own life is affected by your condition. You're not stealing from other people by wanting to talk about your own life and anyone who tries to act like you are is probably one of those pricks who like to play pain olympics.

[Tillie]

hey I've been pretty shy about posting in this thread

I have chronic pain something fierce, and as I live in the northern Midwest of the united states, winters can be pretty damn brutal in terms of pain. Due to an accident when I was 16 that ended with me needing multiple pins put into my foot to hold my bones together. Also, I have a picture. Please view at your own discretion. I mean... it's a foot with pins sticking out of it. If that stuff makes you squeamish, might not want to click this link!

Six years later, I have severe arthritis in my foot. Due to favoring my right foot for so long, naturally my left foot developed arthritis, too. So a big mess, really. I still have broken bones in my foot that will not be able to heal because it will require me to not move my foot for up to six months. As such, the bones are constantly inflamed and I have to take care to keep my feet elevated or they swell to the point of becoming numb. This winter, with how frigid it has been, many nights were spent crying myself to sleep because of how much pain I was in. I believe I acquired a lot of micro-fractures over the winter simply by working at my job or standing on my tiptoes. My pain starts from the moment my feet hit the floor in the morning to the moment I put my feet up at night. As such, much of my time during the day is spent lying down or sitting. Many times I have to schedule my day around my pain. It is extremely frustrating. FFXIV helps because it takes my mind off of my pain.

[ErikMynhier]

Hi guys, here's the laundry list.

Nerve damage in my right arm due to trauma limiting mobility and hand dexterity...

Nerve damage in the left arm due to fire, limiting tactile sense...

And an official diagnosis of what my doc calls sociopathic tendencies. Which despite what movies tell you doesn't make me a mask wearing killer, but makes it harder for me to feel emotions or to "care" about things I think of as stupid which tends to be a lot of stuff. I'm good at hiding it in groups because I pay attention to those around me and can fake the right social response. Its harder with 1on1. Not for me but for them.