The Disabled Gamer Thread

[Chiramu]

/fistbump to all disabled gamers.

My anxiety is manageable but it still gets in the way of what I want to do in game . There are still some days though that I just can't put myself in group to play with others .

[Jwrigh7784]

I don't know if this counts, but I'm currently on disability for recurring stage IV cancer due to a genetic defect; basically my body doesn't know how to fight cancer or tumors. It's a condition called Familial Adenomatous Polyposis and it's realllllly rare, like 1 out of every million people are affected. And I have the even RARER variation called Gardner's Syndrome. Because of this, there's not really a solid attack plan on fighting or preventing the cancers it causes. I'm on my third cancer in 3 years. I'm only 32 years old. I'm going through chemotherapy more often than not and I guess the next step is radioactive beads injected directly into my body. I have been playing since around 2.4 (I played a bit in 1.0 tho). This game has really helped me keep my mind off all the crap I'm constantly going through and I've made some really good friends through it, even ran my own guild for a year or so. I'd probably be sitting in a corner of my apartment crying all the time if it wasn't for this amazing game. Not sure how to end this post, but seriously, thank you SE for making this great game.

I'd say that counts. I'm sorry to hear about your situation and I'm glad that you are able to get enjoyment from the game, it's a nice distraction from all the crap those of use with disabilities have to endure.

[Jwrigh7784]

I think part of the problem we as disabled individuals face is that people who don't suffer from whatever condition we have can't truly know how debilitating they can be. Sometimes I wish I could just transfer how I feel and think to people so they can experience what I do. Back in August of last year (2016) I got a panic attack out of nowhere. Normally panic attacks last 10-20 min for most people. This one lasted nearly 2 months. Every day, 24 hours a day 7 days a week. It was the worst thing I have ever experienced in life. It was literally a living hell that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. In that nearly 2 months I lost almost 40 lbs because my body had so much adrenaline pumping through me and I couldn't hardly eat on top of that. I was in the emergency room 18 times. I was admitted to the psychiatric ward of 2 hospitals to try and find medication to stop the panic attack. At one point I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep in 7 days. I started having auditory hallucinations from lack of sleep. I called 911 for an ambulance a few times (panic attacks sometimes feel like heart attacks). When the paramedics showed up one of those times they took my vitals and my blood pressure was 200/110 and heart rate was 180. It got so bad that I began contemplating suicide. The doctors in the ER and psych units were rude and condecending. It was during those times that I wish I could share what I was feeling with them so they could truly understand. Even my wife had no clue what I was going through. I now have PTSD over the whole situation. Fortunately the panic attack stopped with the aid of antidepressant medications. My symptoms faded over time and my life started going back to normal. The PTSD I mentioned, whenever my heart rate goes above 100 I start getting really bad anxiety which makes my heart rate even higher. The whole point of me sharing this is not to get attention but to show those without disabilities what it can be like for us who have them. Sometimes it can be hell. Sometimes, at least for me, it's like my brain is rebelling against logic and reason and becomes my worst enemy. It is hard, especially when you throw in my back issues, but I still manage to wake up every day. It is nice to have a distraction like Final Fantasy XIV. I can get lost in the story. Explore beautiful and interesting environments. Get lost in the amazing music. I can make new friends and team up to tackle challenges.