Does it get any better?

[Nicodemus_Mercy]

it may be good to talk to your group at the start. You'll be surprised how friendly, helpful and accommodating a lot of FFXIV players actually are. Don't buy in to the negativity people have about the community.

I can agree with this at the very least. If you're looking for aggressive pulls, talk about it at the beginning of the dungeon so the tank and healer are on board and everyone knows what to expect. People can be pretty accommodating if you just ask for what you want rather than take it upon yourself to try and force the issue by pulling extra mobs yourself without warning.