No Community

[Pileus_Storm]

I think it's because of the competitive nature of mmo fanatics. Some of these players have played other mmo's and have this idea that completing content and leaving others behind is fun. I think they like seeing ppl look at the gear they aquired that the player doesn't have. #braggingrights
This game gives multiple options for players to connect with other players. The Lodestone has a feature called Event & Party Recruitment. Then there's this forum which I read more complaints and criticism about this game than ppl trying to connect. Ive been playing this game since 1.0 and most ppl are speed running content probably because they can't afford it but they encourage and inform ppl that certain aspects of this game is lacking, so it's best to play a certain way. So players follow the trend of grabbing the highest level gear and never get into crafting gear and making strategic attribute builds. IMO For me, I'm just gonna use the Lodestone and hope ppl join me.

[Atoli]

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[Atoli]

@OP:
My real life friendships are not defined by hardships and sacrifices either, but actually the opposite, shared joys and enriching each others life, but okay..

The convenience of FFXIV has made me fat, happy and motivated, to put it in your words. Because I can actually do what is fun, and I can do it easily. Back in 1.0, before Duty Finder was a thing, I spent most of the time online trying to even get a full party going at all. In the end, no one was happy because we wasted tons of time and when we managed getting in, it was thanks to people who had to join because they felt obligated to, not because they actually wanted to do said content. Now we can do annoying things with the click of a button with some strangers, so we have more time to actually spend some quality time with the actual friends
Back in FFXI, the entire game was so anti "actually being playable" and completely inacessible in any way and just the worst experience I ever had in any game, that most people who gave it a try simply left right away except for a few lucky souls that got rescued by someone they then knew they'd have to be nice to no matter how much unbearable they were, because their help was needed to even get from A to B. That's not friendship, that's "I hate this person but am forced to put up with him". In FFXIV, I engage with people because I genuinely like them and enjoy their company, not because I have no other choice. And if someone is horrible, I just kick or blacklist them, because I do not have to put up with their behaviour since I don't NEED them to go on.

Overall, that seems way way better to me ^-^

[Stormbad]

Some of the prerequisites to a meaningful friendship are shared hardship, sacrifice, and trust...

I can think of at least 30 additional reasons to have meaningful friendships in the game. If you narrow down the requirement so much, you are going to struggle with finding and making friends.

Your post basically had tldr = Can't make friends because game is too easy.

[Mycow8me]

Been playing since ... well my forum join date atleast... I don't know anyone on my server well enough to call a friend other than the ones that came with me from ffxi. I blame DF and a severe lack of server side content. You don't meet people leveling your character, you don't meet people trying to group for story, you don't do alot of things with people from your server in this game. I dunno, I see where the OPs coming from but I see it from different reasonings. If I hadn't played ffxi for years and years I probably could have adapted to the come and go social aspect of this game alot easier. FFXI forced you to be very active/outgoing if you wanted to get anything done.

[Atoli]

FFXI forced you to be very active/outgoing if you wanted to get anything done.

And XIV forces you to be active and outgoing if you want friends

[Mycow8me]

And XIV forces you to be active and outgoing if you want friends

I think thats part of the problem though, there is alot of come and go mentality in this game. Only so many people want to be social and once they have formed their inner circles, its hard to join them. Maybe I'm just old and jaded I dunno.

[CookieMonsta]

I think thats part of the problem though, there is alot of come and go mentality in this game. Only so many people want to be social and once they have formed their inner circles, its hard to join them. Maybe I'm just old and jaded I dunno.

I find that so many people come and go (because this game allows you to easily do both) you start to wonder if its worth bonding with people anymore.

[Kosmos992k]

Been playing since ... well my forum join date atleast... I don't know anyone on my server well enough to call a friend other than the ones that came with me from ffxi. I blame DF and a severe lack of server side content. You don't meet people leveling your character, you don't meet people trying to group for story, you don't do alot of things with people from your server in this game. I dunno, I see where the OPs coming from but I see it from different reasonings. If I hadn't played ffxi for years and years I probably could have adapted to the come and go social aspect of this game alot easier. FFXI forced you to be very active/outgoing if you wanted to get anything done.

There is a simple change that SE could make, and have laid the groundwork to make, that would help. Cross server friend lists, and cross server moogle mail. The contact list that they added is a step in the right direction, but when I meet some players (or player) in a DF instance and we talk and have fun in the instance, I'd like to know what server they come from and be able to friend them. That would help.

So would people in general communicating, but short of twisting their arms, I don't know how we can encourage players in general to communicate better.

You get what you put in--if you're not meeting people, it's your approach to socializing in an MMO. People respond to those who take the time for them and are around them often, although some places (dungeons, etc) aren't where people normally go to "hang out". FCs are generally better, as are Linkshells or Discord servers where people can slow down and have more friendly chats, or start to associate voices with characters.

Not all of them are a good fit, but there are many out there. Also, people see what they want to see.

I met a player (former friend) in-game who complained that my FC didn't like them when they were in our Discord as my friend. They said that no one would talk to them except one, while I saw multiple people talking. Meanwhile, everyone was asking me in private when they were going to join us. I personally invited them to a voice channel when they wouldn't join on their own. They never stopped to ask anyone about their lives, and very rarely accepted invitations, and only to things that benefited them like a bird farm they wanted.

Eventually, they left. This was a person who frequently complained about being disliked, unwanted, etc. And to this day, as far as I know, they've never stopped to think if their attitude might be part of the problem.

I have seen this type of thing happen many times. It blows my mind how some people can complain bitterly about being left out, or not being talked to, when in fact I see most people in the FC talking to them. Of course the fact is that when they do little or nothing in response, and take no interest in their FC mates, people tend to become more superficial in their communication in reaction to that. The net result is that the uncommunicative player feels left out and gets angry because "no one talks to them", when in fact the opposite is true, and the problem was their own silence and distance.

TL;DR - TALK TO PEOPLE, be friendly, engage in social conversation, be civil, be respectful of all players, don't be a jerk. It's all easy stuff really.

[FunkYeahDragons]

You get what you put in--if you're not meeting people, it's your approach to socializing in an MMO. People respond to those who take the time for them and are around them often, although some places (dungeons, etc) aren't where people normally go to "hang out". FCs are generally better, as are Linkshells or Discord servers where people can slow down and have more friendly chats, or start to associate voices with characters.

Not all of them are a good fit, but there are many out there. Also, people see what they want to see.

I met a player (former friend) in-game who complained that my FC didn't like them when they were in our Discord as my friend. They said that no one would talk to them except one, while I saw multiple people talking. Meanwhile, everyone was asking me in private when they were going to join us. I personally invited them to a voice channel when they wouldn't join on their own. They never stopped to ask anyone about their lives, and very rarely accepted invitations, and only to things that benefited them like a bird farm they wanted.

Eventually, they left. This was a person who frequently complained about being disliked, unwanted, etc. And to this day, as far as I know, they've never stopped to think if their attitude might be part of the problem.

Not saying this is anyone in particular, just that when I see these complaints I don't think it's the game. FFXIV is full of fun and sociable people who like to make friends and joke around over games, including those who are shy or introverted. If you're not meeting any or every group is the same then you're not looking in the right places or with the right perspective.