1) Since its a withdraw for the whole group, it doesnt (and shouldnt) matter who withdraws - it sucks for the rest of the people who were in the queue with you. A lot of people used the withdraw to troll and honestly, if someone DC's three times in one day while being in a queue, they might consider taking a break and trying to fix their connection
2) I disagree, its not way to strict, its pretty generous - you get three strikes and only a 30 minute penalty, while causing inconvenience for other people.

If someone in your group has issues or constantly misses his queues for whatever reason and you dont want to get locked out, there are two simple solutions: queue as a full party or dont queue with that person at all anymore and dont take the risk of getting their strike. You are being locked out for a reason - you and your friends arent playing alone and the withdraw of your group affects other people in queue... so yeah, the issue lies with you and your friends here.