Death of all Servers (120% chance)
Character gets Deleted "somehow" (99.99% chance, the .01 being if SE can recover it fully)
They break every class with their "Combat change's " in 4.0 (80% chance)
Nudity & forced player slavery/prositusion added (75% chance, depends on implimentation may go 2,000%)
Any more "find the Moogle" quests, the non-crafter ones (45% chance, raises by 5% for every 4 quests like it)

For everything else their Kopo-card