So I've had multiple instances where I've seen dps getting told off for taking hate instead of the tank getting told off for losing hate.

I was in A12 as BLM and I was about to take hate off the DRK tanking without grit. So I said "put tank stance on pls". Then the party jumped on me saying "you use quelling strikes".

Then a similar thing happened when I was in a dungeon, a ninja took hate off the PLD (again who was in sword oath), and died, he complained at the tank to keep hate and got berated for not learning to use shadewalker.

So is this a thing now? Is it the dps's fault if the tank loses hate?