Character name: Oleander Tenendar
World: Ultros
Preferred prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

Quicktox Tells Spookytale

“Pshkohhh… Quicktox knows not why scalytail uplander is so snoopy about gobbiemasks.” The goblin shifted herself away from Oleander, closer to the stonepile and farther from him. The sun had long set, but the continuously-roaring furnaces of Stickqix’s Bangpots ensured it always remained warm around the construction site. “Even this land is nosescrunch to gobbieflock.”

“I know why you wear them,” Oleander said. “I’m just curious about what you all look like underneath. Every goblin I’ve asked has refused to indulge me.”

“Gobbieflock are not like fluffytail uplanders, showing pinkflesh alltimes!” Quicktox folded her arms, and turned away from her impertinent interrogator. Oleander sighed, defeated once again, and moved to descend the stairs. Seeing his disappointment, the goblin felt somewhat guilty for her harsh words. “Pshhh… Skohhh… Stop, uplander. Come back. Quicktox will not take off mask, but Quicktox will tell story. Story about an uplander with bigheart that make big mistake.

“It was time when gobbieflock were first coming to this land. In the place named Ul’dah, gobbies were eager to sell their goods to uplanders, as they had much jinglyshine to share. Gobbies were often poketeased and laughed at because of size and talkstyle, but there were some that were kind to gobbieflock.

“There was one gobbie named Longkix that had not eaten for many sunspin. The uplanders were not interested in Longkix’s wares, and with no jinglyshine to pay for soft bed and food to stop tummyrumblings, Longkix was forced to sleep under skylights. Female uplander found Longkix sleeping on stoneground, and decided to offer bed and food to poor gobbie. Uplander carried Longkix to home, and placed near cookfire with pot of bubblybroth. The whole time, Longkix was deep in dreamystate, thinking of home and happytimes, and would not wake to her nudging. Uplander decided to continue being bigheart, and wanted to feed Longkix before bubblybroth went cold. It was then that kind uplander make fatal error.

“Pssshkoh… Uplander peeled away gobbiemask, and looked upon nakedface of Longkix. Female screamed loud enough to raise Longkix from sleepstate, and uplander ran from home, with screws loose in braincase. Uplander run from city, into homeground of green desert spikyplants, and was killed by thousandthousand spinewounds. Longkix was bittersad to learn fate of kind uplander, and left city to never return.

“So, does scalytail uplander understand now why Quicktox cannot remove gobbiemask? Is scalytail uplander not shiveryboots at risk of braindeath?”

Oleander was quick to answer. “Not really. I’m a dragoon—I die all the time.”