Social anxiety and FF14

[MirielleLavandre]

I’ve debated posting this for awhile, but I figured that even though most will not read it and/or care, there may be a few it reaches and maybe for the better, so why not? I’ve played FF14 since beta, but recently got back to the game after about 9 months. Knowing already how it is in the expert roulettes and 24-man raids (where everyone expects everyone to know everything and there are often people raging about how bad others are), I made 3 new characters who are sprouts and joined the new (to me) Novice Network. This is a blessing, really, since it allows new players to chat in a mostly safe environment with mentors who can answer questions. However, doing Sastasha and Tam Tara the first few times on each of those sprouts had me encountering even some of those very mentors being somewhat demeaning/arrogant towards the sprouts or new tanks/healers.

Even as a mother of 3, I have always had a lot of social anxiety and hardly ever go out. One thing I think people never understand is that people who do have anxiety of this sort often play MMOs because these types of games let us be a part of a ‘society’, even if it is a virtual one. They let us ‘talk’ to people even if we’d be too shy or scared to in real life. This is why it makes me so upset when people are abused in MMOs and everyone says “get a thick skin or don’t play MMOs” — to me, at least, I play MMOs because I DON’T have a thick skin and it is usually a place where my social anxiety at least doesn’t affect my being able to reach out and make friends or do things with others. Playing a single player RPG doesn’t offer this feeling of at least being around people who are actual, living people who maybe could become a friend someday.

Background out of the way, I just am hoping that people remember that sprouts and even other veteran players (to whom the expectation to perform or be ridiculed is even higher) are actual players who may have this type of anxiety and even something as small as “Worthless tank” or much worse “Go hang yourself” can have an impact that people never see because so many players forget that the character in front of you on the screen is also a living person looking at their own screen reading what you are writing.

Again, I know many will say don’t play MMOs if I don’t want to have to deal with these kinds of things, but again I say that often people with social anxiety or other issues that prevent them from doing things in real life, or reaching out to others in real life, use these types of games to at least feel a part of something more than themselves, and while only others with similar anxiety can know the courage it takes to just say “hi, would you like to join up with me for ____”, everyone can, I think, understand the desire to be understood and feel accepted/valued.

Anyways, just my thoughts after experiencing the game as a new sprout these past weeks, and as a returning beta player. Those who know me think I am one of the most outgoing people in FC chat and such, but again — that type of thing is the only way I can cover up my own anxiety — chatting non-stop, at least, sometimes makes it easier for me to chat at all. I often wish I could find a FC that didn’t require voice, was made up of mostly people with similar anxiety, and such — but that’s for another time. Thanks for any of the few who may have read this whole thing. Have fun in your adventures and please keep in mind that we are all people - not just NPCs ^_^v

[Savagelf]

I get social anxiety drew to my asperger Mirielle ffxiv help reduced that and i am the same way quite talktive online not so much off line.

[Lexia]

On the "grow a thicker skin" part there are quite of few people out that that do need to do this. Cause there is lot of people that get offended by almost anything, I agree that there are also lot of mean and rude players on the game which do take stuff too far but there plenty of people on both sides of the fences on that issue.

I don't really have social anxiety, I'm just very much a introvert and prefer to keep to myself but I have no problem getting online like in this game and talking with people. I actually talk more in game then I do in RL.

[Mugiawara]

I actually talk more in game then I do in RL.

Opposite for me. I'm very much social in real life but online I'm quiet as a mouse.
It's so strange...I really dunno why, but I can't really make friends online because
I won't talk. I'm in a FC for almost a year I said literally less than 10 things all together.
I'm actually kinda shy online.

BUT, I use to be sociable online, and not so much in real life.
When I got a job and hung around people it flipped for me lol.
So damn weird.

[Urthdigger]

Players really do need to be more considerate to each other in general. This is a COOPERATIVE game, we're all in this together, yet I've seen people fly off the handle and attack each other for the smallest most inconsequential things. Even if the other person has thick skin, being a dick is a good way to get people to do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to just to spite you.

[Savagelf]

I think this something we as human being have forgotten we can still be friend even though we have different opinion then each other. your not going force people agree with you we different we just made that way as are opinion.

[raela]

It should not be difficult to find a FC that does not require voice for day to day content. It only becomes really helpful for savage/extreme primals. And if someone is being a major jerk in game, I recommend reporting them.

[Jandor]

Have you tried telling rude people to 'go **** themselves'?

[AlwaysGuilty]

I used to be really unsocial in game, just like real life. But, when I left the FC I was a part of, I made tons of new friends. Made a lalafell LS that is getting tons of people joining. I now run my own FC, which is doing really well I now talk in game more than I ever did irl. I don't run many duties these days, due to most of time, encountering some not so friendly people. MY FC wants to do voice chat, and I said it may be hard for me but they were open to me not talking as much and were understandable.

These days, I've come to the point of standing up for new players and even level 60s, when they're put on blast. I won't swear or call them names anyhow, but I'd give them a right talking to. Just because one person may accidentally miss an aoe or something, doesn't mean they should be told to kill themselves.

[Anyan]

Well said!
I play for very similar reasons.
Also, just as one of those horrible comments can ruin your day, a friendly or funny encounter can brighten it. I still smile when I think about some wonderful people I've met or experiences I've had.
I just love when my queue pops and I'm met with some goof making silly jokes right off the bat. You know that it's going to be a good run even if you wipe a few times, because y'all can laugh it off.
People underestimate how much of a difference some compassion, patience, and friendliness can make.
Shame we're not on the same server. If we were I would have loved to play together. /hug