The lodestone recipe list is pretty good: http://lodestone.finalfantasyxiv.com...sId=F&rankId=2

Only problem is it doesn't show you the item stats. I use that in combination with a database site.

As for equipment, I'd say that you should just worry about using stuff that is at or slightly below your level. Since "optimal" gear doesn't work as well as it used to if it is at a level higher than your current class level. This is especially important for your weapon. Your weapon level should be at or slight below your level for the full stat bonuses.