I'm a 'noob', 'don't even know what I'm doing', want to improve, help!

[Fevelle]

Hello. First let me say what happened to me some minutes ago.

I just had a run of MSQ roulette in Castrum Meridianum as Warrior. The other tank was a Paladin. Since he was in Shield Oath all the time, I thought he was going to MT, and so he did. The problem began at the trash before the first set of cannons. He proceeded to pull them, along with the mobs all the way before the second set of cannons. Since it was too much damage, he died, party wiped.

Then it began. He called me out for not taking some of the adds for me, and I explained that something like that is not really possible, since one of us would take hate from all of them with the aoe and they'd begin running between us. He disagreed, so I proceeded to do what he wanted, and just as I feared, mobs were bouncing between us and it didn't went well again.

He then said for me to MT. I agreed and was MT for the Rubricantus. I also did the part where you get the troops from the alarm towers and bring them back to the cannons, all went well. We only needed to kill 2 more Iron Giants. I got one since he had the other, and pulled him back to the corridor before the cannons. My OT then provoked my Iron Giant, and I lost hate for 6 seconds since I was Pacificated from Berserk. It was enough time for it to cleave the party. I asked him why he provoked the Iron Giant, to which he repplied "Stop being a noob, do you even know what you're doing"

So, here I am. I do not know what I'm doing. I never played any tank roles outside of leveling sungeons. I never tanked any trials. I have an extremely hard time tanking because I'm expected to know mechanics and gimmicks from dungeons and I have an anxiety disorder diagnosed, which is also the reason I main a healer: I get to stay behind on dungeons, supporting, throwing stones, and if everything goes well no one will notice me. I feel so bad about my lack of leadership while tanking that I'm leveling my tanks using only roulette's. I can't queue for any Heavensward dungeon content in fear of dragging the party down.

Yes, I'm a noob. I have read thousands of tanking guides, cooldown management guides for fights that I won't even tank, and I'm still a noob. But I want to stop being one. And that's why I ask for help from the veteran tanks: what content, what training, what kind of fight I can get into to better understand how to tank and how to actually LEAD a party (which is my real problem) I can do to get better? Sorry for the big wall of text, and thank you if you read it all.

[Cipher_Zaabiz]

First of all: don't expect me to comfort you, even if you have a disorder. Fishing for compliments or sympathy won't help you in any way.

First of all, if you want to get better, find a tank ingame that knows his job well and then proceed to do some runs with him to observe the tanking.

2nd, get the proper cross class skills, e.g. if you have trouble with pacify, add flashlight from the cross class skills to keep aggro even when pacified.

3rd - training. Learn how to pull and how to keep aggro of big groups while tanking, mitigating and protecting the group.

You will improve due to the challenges you will master. If you fail, stand up and learn from it. That's the whole secret to it.

[Kitfox]

what content, what training, what kind of fight I can get into to better understand how to tank and how to actually LEAD a party (which is my real problem) I can do to get better?

Do all content, knowledge and experience are king. There's no shortcut.

Also, MSQ roulette is cancer, don't let it bother you.

[Malicewolf]

From the sounds of it, you were fine honestly. I've MT'd it solo before plenty of times.It sounds like he tried to overpull and couldn't handle the damage (as well as being slow... he should be faster than the mobs) or the healers weren't healing him (but if he didn't stop the pull, I don't blame them, they'd get all the hate). Heck, half the time, I don't even pop a CD anymore. I still barely take damage pulling everything.
Having 2 tanks trying to do 2 separate pulls to mitigate some of the damage is fine and all, but you both need to be on the same page else, it becomes a mess. Sounds more like he didn't know his limitations, not a fault on your part.

However, if you are lookin' to improve, experience as everyone else has said is the best way. I'd suggest finding some patient friends who are willing to join ya in instances and just go in knowing full well you're going to wipe the floor with your faces. But it's hard to understand everything if you don't try it. Just be sure you're with a group that's calm and not stressful if anxiety is a problem. I know you'll still have some from feeling like you may be "failing" your group, but I know people yelling in chat only makes it worse ^^

In terms of how to lead, you really don't need to do much of anything. The biggest thing as a tank is, you are the wall and the first to go in (should be...). You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. And the only thing in terms of leading is perhaps leading the way through the dungeon, but there's only like 1 or 2 you can even get somewhat lost in to begin with... they're pretty linear.

[Truefaith87]

A HUGE part of tanking comes down to experience, comfort level, and keeping a calm head... Oh, and don't forget having skin thicker than a M1 Abram's tank. You will be the first to get blamed, the last to get thanked, and the only one to get yelled at most times. Learning runs is VERY important... Learning the limits to which people can heal on their gear/skill, understanding not every party is going to be a speed run if you get 2 single target specialists, and one important one most tanks forget... UNDERSTANDING YOUR OWN LIMITS AS WELL. This is a very big part of being a tank... I play all 3, and I will not deny I overestimate myself time to time on the "everything is going great" moments. Comes back to bite you in the keister really quickly. A good way to start as a tank? No joke, run things as DPS, watch the tank carefully, and see how they pull, what they understand limits are, and hope they are respectful, many can be rather toxic.

[Fevelle]

Thank you for all the responses! Today I ran it again and was the main tank for the whole run, all went well. I could have done some pulls better, but no one complained, and it was a very fast run. Made me feel a little better.

[TallonOverworld]

I've never played tank besides ffxiv and i had the same problems just as you. First of all, i want to mention that if truly you are diagnosed with anxiety disorder and you feel that you cant handle it then its better to stop playing it.However, if you want to continue playing then here are a few tips i can give you:
1) Dont listen to toxic people! Sooo many trash-talkers out there just do your thing and never mind them. If i were you in that MSQ i would just leave. After all 30 minutes of waiting are much worth than having someone talking sh1t

2) Ask for help. In any dungeon, trial or raid there are always new people that dont know the fight. Just explain that you are new, and most people will guide you. Its ok to screw up, after all everyone screws up in this game.

3) If you want to improve your tanking i suggest watching a video guide regarding gear,rotations etc. then you can practice on a dummy.

Last, if you are playing on Ragnarok ill be happy to help you!

[Galgarion]

You aren't at fault. People are too quick to blame the stress of tanking on 'Jump-the-gun' DPS alone. Another potent source of frustrated anger are other tanks. You're gonna meet some real moron meatshields in full parties, that's just a fact of life, like sunrise in the east, and tomatoes in marinara. My tanking style is to keep calm and carry on; So I adapt and get the job done. But there's been more than a few times where I wished I could punch my co-tank through his monitor.

[Jackald]

The secret to good tanking is to have full party awareness. It's a skill you'll develop, and I don't pretend to be the best tank ever, but basically you need to know your party inside and out. Is the healer great at last second saves? Don't bother holmganging. Is the DPS always jumping the gun and pulling first? Be ready for that and stand by your healer. Does your party suck at dodging AOEs? Position yourself so that it's easier for them to dodge.

And you have to know what everyone else is doing whilst also flawlessly performing your rotation, dodging every attack, and completing all mechanics flawlessly. Because as others have said, you're the first person to get blamed if it all goes wrong. But if some Dragoon is getting up in your grill, just remember that if he dies, the fight will just take longer, but if you die the fight is over.