I am not sure if I get this, off your points you are basically upset about the quality of the players you get and about your problem that the game revolves around DPS doing DPS and generate aggro on tanks, tanks having to aoe aggro frequently and healers healing tank.

Not going to comment on the quality of players. The game revolves around the trinity system, so by default you get fixed basic responsibilities for each role you do. Nothing wrong about it.