First of all: don't expect me to comfort you, even if you have a disorder. Fishing for compliments or sympathy won't help you in any way.

First of all, if you want to get better, find a tank ingame that knows his job well and then proceed to do some runs with him to observe the tanking.

2nd, get the proper cross class skills, e.g. if you have trouble with pacify, add flashlight from the cross class skills to keep aggro even when pacified.

3rd - training. Learn how to pull and how to keep aggro of big groups while tanking, mitigating and protecting the group.

You will improve due to the challenges you will master. If you fail, stand up and learn from it. That's the whole secret to it.