Could we please get an official list of what is cheating and what is not?

[Bourne_Endeavor]

Here are a few issues that don't seem to be clear to most players.

1. PVP win trading / boosting.
Is it ok to trade wins to get wolf marks or achievement progress?
Is it ok to trade wins to gain ranks in ranked pvp?
Is it ok to have have friends lose against you in order to boost your rank in ranked pvp?

Solely for Wolf Marks? Yes. But only if both teams agree. We know this because no one has ever been banned throughout Wolves' Dens existence. The Feast though... may be murkier waters. Win trading to boost your rank is likely to result in a suspension or ban.

2. Hunt Marker 3rd Party Programs
Is it ok to use a third party program that reports when hunt mobs are seen, and report their location on the map, even when you aren't in the zone? (Yes 3rd party programs are supposed to be against ToS, but there are many linkshells that exist based on this process)

This can get you banned, yes. I heard of a few who have for the very reason you stated. Those linkshells get around it the same way people who parse do. They don't mention it.

3. Special Offers (Like the current amazon one)
Is it ok to order a product and then cancel it just to get a code?

Nothing. SE has no means of tracking you or your purchase, even if they wanted to. Furthermore, they have little incentive to ban people as those doing this will continue to sub and aren't hurting the experience of other players. Punishment-- if there is any -- would be at Amazon's discretion. Your account there could be suspended, but not your FFXIV account.

4. Triple Triad Multi-Account Tournament Wins
Is it ok to use multiple accounts to push yourself to the top of the tournament ranks (getting the nice mgp reward and special cards)?

I don't know anyone using multiple accounts but plenty who do this with a friend. None have ever been banned. So I doubt they enforce anything.

5. Vermillion Multi-Account Tournament Wins
Is it ok to use multiple accounts to feed yourself wins to rank high in the tournament (for the mgp rewards)

See above.

6. House Selling[/I][/B][/COLOR]
Is it ok to sell houses (charge people to abandon properties)? Lots of people claim this is against ToS, but people still do this on a regular basis and claim that it's not. Is it ok when people buy multiple houses with different accounts or different characters in order to resell them for profit?

Not only have the devs/community team outright said this will get you into trouble. Reddit had a thread showing someone actually banned (or at least in GM jail) for exploiting the housing market when 3.3 launched. I believe if you resell your house at the same price you bought it (or very near the equivalent), you won't be flagged. The latter does need some clarification from SE though.

7. Trading Game Codes & Mogstation Items for Gil
Is it ok to trade codes (e.g. the current amazon codes) for gil in game to someone who can't afford to buy from amazon? Is it ok to buy people stuff like fantasia for gil?

No. You will be suspended for this as SE equates it to RMT. No in-game items can be sold for real world currency. The RP community ran into an issue a few years back when artists accepted gil for art work. They were told to stop by SE, though in that case, no one received any punishment since the rules were vague and the intent wasn't exploitive. Sure, you can get around this but it can get you into trouble if caught.

[Beckett]

If you're not sure, you probably shouldn't be doing it.

Absolutely, this is how most honest people act. However, the problem is that there are a lot of dishonest people who will continue to cheat, despite knowing it's wrong, because "SE didn't say we couldn't."
Triple Triad tournaments, for example. I doubt any of the win traders topping the leader boards at every tournament don't realize what they're doing is wrong, but they will continue to do it regardless, until SE outright tells them that they will be punished for it.

[alimdia]

Contrary to popular opinion there is no such thing as a gray area in ToS agreements.

You're missing the point, the grey area is whether they decide to enforce their rules or not, ToS wise they try to cover every single scenario that might or not happen, they reserve the right to terminate your account for any or no reason, it doesn't mean they will one day start banning people out of boredom. If you typed 1 single bad word in chat your account can be permanently banned, but the grey area is whether they do it or not, they analyze this per case and then decide if they want to act.

[Tsukino]

There are not people who don't know these things are cheating.

There are people who know it's cheating and don't do it, and there are people who know it's cheating but think if they cry about it on the forums enough it will become OK.