A Word of Caution

[NaesakiAshwell]

-snip-

Life is ultimately very weird and random and the most mundane things you like or do in your life can have such big repercussions.

Its like my boyfriend now, I would not even known his existence if I had not been a fan of Bioware games and more specifically Dragon Age. Had I not got involved on Bioware's forums I would not have made the various friends I did. One of whom I slowly befriended on facebook and after a while he introduced me to an FB group and then after a few months on there I happen to see a post from a member asking for anime recommendations.

My recommendations made me stand out to my bf and he messaged me, thing is cause of how FB works with people who aren't your friends it goes in that "spam" pile for messages so I didn't even know he had messaged me for 2 days so he almost chalked it up to me not being interested in chatting to him. Then for reasons I can't explain I randomly decided to check that "extra message folder" and saw his message and well, I'm almost 2 years later. We are only slightly long distance, a 30minute flight if that and as of July it will be our 3rd time being in person with each other and by September we'll have been dating 2 years.

[Kata]

Thank you all for the supportive and kind words. My problem is that this jerk can stalk me on the lodestone as well. It makes no sense that he has the tools available to him to continue his psychotic behaviour and I'm told to /blist and ignore. When I check my email and there are horribly nasty things waiting for me from him making accusations, attacking me and lashing out it's pretty damn obvious he's still stalking me/my character. Even having the follower request in place does me no good as he's been /following since 1.0

People keep saying things like let it go. Move on. Stop letting him get to you. But my thought is if I stay silent he gets to victimize someone else. I feel horrible for my involvement already in his cheating ways I cannot be part of allowing him to disrespect any other women. I'm sorry but I'm not some pathetic meek sad little girl who's going to slink away and let the monster hurt another gamer.

Question - why is it the community rallies together to spread the word to out those who steal from FC banks, are trash tanks, rage quit mid-dungeon but when the time comes to stand up to a bully it is easier to point the finger at the victim rather than the perpetrator?!

[Millerna]

Question - why is it the community rallies together to spread the word to out those who steal from FC banks, are trash tanks, rage quit mid-dungeon but when the time comes to stand up to a bully it is easier to point the finger at the victim rather than the perpetrator?!

Because apparently, a lot of people value pixels more than people's feelings sadly enough ...

[AlphaFox]

Question - why is it the community rallies together to spread the word to out those who steal from FC banks, are trash tanks, rage quit mid-dungeon but when the time comes to stand up to a bully it is easier to point the finger at the victim rather than the perpetrator?!

Think it may also be that those are usually accompanied with pictures and proof, like that they took all that stuff and ditched the FC where in this situation the only people who know whats going on is between you and him. He says vs she says kinda thing. Just my idea on it.

[raela]

Well, while I agree that people shouldn't hope to find ~true love~ in the bonding thread, I'd also like to point out that dating people IRL is no safeguard against cheating/abuse/etc. There are nasty people IRL and in game (hey, we're all people).. And there are some really good liars out there.

Sorry to hear you're having trouble, but naming/shaming is against the ToS no matter what the reason. You could try contacting support with screenshots for in game or lodestone harassment, but they can do nothing about emails.

[Powe]

, but they can do nothing about emails.

If the E-mails involve say something about threatening you, you could bring it to the police. Depending on how long he's been sending you that stuff he could be put on a restraining order and possibly be restricted from using the internet.

[Kata]

If the E-mails involve say something about threatening you, you could bring it to the police. Depending on how long he's been sending you that stuff he could be put on a restraining order and possibly be restricted from using the internet.

I suppose YEARS over 70,000+ emails (though not all threatening) would be evidence enough. I appreciate the advice! I'll gather the screenshots I have as well as the links to my requests regarding name change/stalking issues (from this forum 8-31-2013!!) to show just how long this has been happening to me. Thanks again.

[Powe]

I suppose YEARS over 70,000+ emails (though not all threatening) would be evidence enough. I appreciate the advice! I'll gather the screenshots I have as well as the links to my requests regarding name change/stalking issues (from this forum 8-31-2013!!) to show just how long this has been happening to me. Thanks again.

70,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, yea um I'm pretty sure the police can and definitely will do something based on the pure amount of emails alone, and who knows they might find out he's been doing this to other women and if he threaten them in email and such, hopefully court case.

[Seraphix2407]

Just call the cops, show them the emails etc. I think things are out of hand and kata there is only so Much game masters can do. Wake up and call the cops.

[Powe]

Hey Op if I was you, I would change your name and change worlds, make it a Lot harder to find a person, and if your profile on the forum is with your main character, delete it so he cant find your new name. Oh also use a fantasia to get yourself a new look, be damn near impossible to find you. Well he could if he had your IP address and try to hack you.