What can I do to stop this?

[Februs]

As for me being, selfish, there must be a disconnect between what people see as acceptable vs. unacceptable behavior. What would be unacceptable behavior to me, would be afk'ing. Refusing to heal players out of spite, ignoring mechanics, being a hateful person and wasting the limit break. If this is not the case then please correct my way of thinking.

As a side note, you should be aware that Tanks often have a different perspective on this issue by the nature of our job and the kinds of criticism we get while doing it. The reason for this (and I know this is going to sound conceited), is that Tanks are often doing the most work in the party. Think of it from a Tank's perspective:

Dps are just Dps. Even if they're working their maximum possible rotation (which is on average more complicated than a Tank's), they're not really doing anything except killing the target in front of them. They have 1 job, and only 1 job.

Healers have it a little harder, because they have to keep everyone alive, but that's not all that complicated either. If the Tank is doing their job correctly, then they're only healing one person and the occasional party-wide AoE (which is typically healed automatically by HoT's). Even your own example of using one or two cure's a mob while eating dinner shows just how simple it can be. You should also be aware that most Pld's have leveled at least a Whm, so they are fully aware of when a Healer is doing only the bare minimum of what they can do.

Tanks, on the other hand, have to be aware of pull sizes and enemy placements. They have to manage enmity, which includes watching the enmity of their teammates so they don't lose hate. On top of that, they have to keep up a solid defense so to reduce the strain on the healer, and on top of that, we're also expected to maximize our Dps output to speed things along (both for time as well as mitigation purposes) ... And that's assuming everything is going smoothly. See the difference?

Now, realistically, we could make our jobs just as simple as Dps or Healing by spamming Flash/Overpower/Unleash the entire dungeon and doing next to nothing else, but what kind of response do you think we'd get from the Dps and Healer? I can tell you right now that we'd be considered lazy and get criticized for not doing our jobs properly. The healer would hate us for not reducing enough damage, and the Dps would hate us for just being plain slow.

Now, again, I know this comes across as very conceited (because it is), but I'm just mentioning it because this is the double standard that Tanks are held under while running in DF. This obviously varies from group to group and with personal skill level, but, typically, Tanks are expected to uphold a certain standard of play, and we are the first people who get fingered in a crowd when things go wrong. Yet, at the same time, the vast majority of Dps and Healers we see in DF slide by with doing only the bare minimum of what their job asks of them. So, you can see why some tanks (right or wrong) can cultivate the attitude that a healer who simply sits back and does nothing but heal is being lazy or selfish. It's not something that I personally think a healer should be shafted for, but it should give you an idea of where that attitude comes from.