Would you like an in-game parser?

[Kaurie]

You can tell when someone trips and falls while walking down the street too, but that doesn't mean you're going to tell them exactly what they were doing at 5:32PM or exactly how many calories they ate for breakfast this morning.

Yes, but none of what you are saying has any impact on those people (how many calories you ate, you yelling at your kid for not doing homework). These metrics don't affect the people in your analogies at all. Your DPS does affect the people in your party.