Would you like an in-game parser?

[Kezy_Kaatapoh]

So, if I'm the goalkeeper in a soccer team and we win every watch, you'll bitch about how I didn't stop every ball ? Or how many miles I traveled during the whole match ?
The more metaphor you'll make, the less "it's only for helping" you'll sound...

No. No one said that. Only you did. You're creating these false situations to fit your narrative and that happening would just be absurd. If that happened, people would probably tell the dude to chill out.