I find it funny that the FPS-crowd comparison was made and people still didn't realize how accurate it is to this topic.

I hope you* get your parser, because it will make the game more enjoyable for you on your terms.
I hope the parser is limited to the savage/extreme content where it and the DPS uber Alles mentality is actually relevant. The other 95+% of the population doesn't really need it for the rest of the content.

*I'll leave it up to you to decide whether "you" applies to you.