Basically, every action you take, regardless if it's a self-buff, a heal, a damaging attack, or a high-enmity move from a tank, causes threat.
For example, if your tank aggro's a boss you will also be on the threat list. If you pop your self-buffs, you might actually pull the boss if the tank doesn't use -anything- on it. It's a small pittance of an amount though, and is easily overwhealmed by the most basic of moves.
As for the enmity of a tank, check and see if they have "Defiance (Lv.30)", "Shield Oath (lv.40)", or "Grit (Lv.30)" up. These three skills are the tank skills that reduce incomming damage (PLD/DRK), increase the HP and Healing Recieved (WAR), and also grant a bonus to threat generation (All.)
In the early game, before you even recieved Regen, tanks have a little bit of a more difficult time with the initial establishment and maintenence of threat - especially as your gear level grows higher and higher. If you're healing a tank in Qarn as your example, and he's level 35 Paladin, that means his gear is at best i35 HQ (And even that is unlikely for most players taking their tanks through these levels), while yours is at 37 HQ garunteed from your current level 53 WHM. This means the Paladin will have a harder time holding threat as he can't generate as much as a 37 HQ paladin would, and he'll be taking harder hits / hits that take more of his limited HP.
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As for the message regarding cures during the pull and the regen, it's moreso about timing. Think of it this way:
There are three mobs in a group. A warrior is running towards them, and you have Regen on him. The warrior uses a Tomahawk on the first mob so that they all approach him, and prepares to use flash as soon as they are gathered.
-> Scenario A: You had a Regen on the tank. The Regen ticks after the Tomahawk went off, but before the Flash (Very possible since there is a GCD on tanks of about 2-2.5 seconds~.) You will not get threat from the mob he Tomahawked, but you WILL get threat from the mobs that were linked to it that he hadn't flashed yet. You'll still build threat on all 3 - but only the two he hadn't flashed yet will come towards you. This is why Regen during the pull is hard on some tanks, since they aren't quite good at timing their flash on the pass-by yet.
-> Scenario B: You had a regen on the ank. The regen ticks after his Flash went off. All three mobs will still be on the tank, and you'll be safe. This is because he used a hate-generating skill on all 3.
Let's take that same group of mobs and say that instead of Tomahawk, the tank runs straight in and Flashes or Overpowers the group.
-> Scenario A: The mobs will aggro the tank before his skill goes off, and ANY skill used before he manages to use his skill will pull the mobs off him.
Basically, it's mostly up to the tank to be able to use their skills to grab threat. Once you have the Tank-based abilities, you will find tanks hold threat a LOT better. At times, tanks in level synched content forget to put their Tank stance up during large pulls, and that can lead to some rougher times.
There's a few ways people can use Shroud*-I mostly use Shroud for mana regen in boss fights or really big pulls because of the long cool-down, but is it worth it on regular trash pulls for keeping my enmity lower while I use my healing stick?
1. At around 60-80%. Keep in mind, that you keep recovering mana over time after using Shroud of Saints, so in some prolonged (boss) fights or longer pulls, using it earlier and continuing to heal will allow you a second/third use of it later on.
2. For threat if they know an add will spawn while things such as Medica II or regens are ticking. This one's a little more rare and speaks more to bad tanks who don't have snapthreat ready for an add.

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