Also, tanking in this game is very different than tanking in many other MMORPGs. It was something of a culture shock to realize the norm in FF14 was to aoe packs and let the dps target whatever they felt like. Many MMORPGs you have to be fairly strict in burning down one at a time and a tank's toolkit wouldn't be enough to hold aggro on more than one target. The idea that meta in FF14 is for tanks to dps as much as they do and to do so out of their mitigating stance is still somewhat crazy to me, almost 20 years of MMORPGs and this is the first that I've seen that.

The point of this post is that just because something is normal and expected for experienced players doesn't mean it is normal or expected for others. And in a PuG you have no idea if that person is new to the game, new to the role, new to dungeons in general. Patience helps with a lot of these situations.