I take solace in knowing that this game is a lot less toxic than WoW - coming from a hardcore progression backround from that game, I decided to stay as a casual player in the sense that my "endgame" is just having fun, crafting and looking like a glamor boss. If I do join a group or a raid that has undergeared anything I usually offer up some kind of advice. For the most part it's taken under advisement - 1/3rd of the time it's met with a verbal backlash.

The best one was that a healer was undergeared for a Midas 4 and wasn't properly healing. It was a WHM and at the time I didn't have a healer but I studied the class and offered advice for crossovers - they then went "Well I don't see a healer as one of your classes so go eff yourself"

That was the reason why I rolled a WHM 3 weeks ago and now it's at i220 - which is the most geared class I have - well above my main which is a DRG. So far I've been met with a lot of compliments and commendations - nothing toxic yet. Sorry to hear it happens tho =/