OP you are missing the most important part of your tank rotation:

1. Go to the fridge. 2. Grab some beer. 3. Chill.

There is a reason why so many tanks are playing drunk. ^^

The worst thing you can do is thinking and blaming yourself or others in the Duty Finder runs. It is totally pointless. The content is easy. There are no stakes. If somebody steals aggro or ninja pulls just take it back - or don't. Nothing horrible can happen. Either you tank it or they tank it. They might die - so what? People can be raised. The group might wipe - so what? You can respawn. You might get kicked? Instant queues - you get back right away.

Don't start thinking about punishing the players, it is not going to help as they are going to play the way they want to play anyways. The same is true for you. You can play however you want to play. Just get the run done and forget about the randoms. Ignore their opinions. It does not matter if they think you are a bad tank. It doesn't affects you at all. On the other hand you thinking you are a bad tank does. Accept the fact that it is not always possible to do things perfectly. Don't try to guess what is going on in other players' brains - it's impossible. Usually they don't care about you, so no point to care about them and their supposed opinions.

Just play to get the chores done and move to more enjoyable parts of the game... or try to find few people to play regularly with. Every party member you choose yourself is one less person that could annoy you.