Edit: Looking at your lodestone character you don't even have a 45. You have a 30 Thaumaturge and seeing how you can still see this character on the lodestone your character is not gone at all once you delete your character it end gone in the lodestone the last time i check. Your in Lamia world check the mogstation it should be there lmao.
SE does not delete character no matter how long you have quit. I was gone 6 month from the game came back 2 month ago to play with a real life friend. Everything was there for both me and my gf account. Also the 1$ charge take about 24/48 hours to go back to your bank but that really up to your bank not SE. Once you get a error on paying SE i end up not doing it to the next day. To many issue with people getting lock out of paying there account for 24 to 48 hours+. Also You said you try and get your 6$ bank? From your BANK or SE? if you call your bank to do a chargeback this could get your account suspended. Which mean you have to rectify this with your bank to then talk to SE to see if they would unsuspected your account so if you got a email saying you was suspended i would call SE asap and see how they can fix your problem.
So your character could have been gone for many reason. If you don't have a one time then your account could have been hack and someone took your stuff and delete your character. Or someone you know access your account it did that to your account. Or it could have been for w/e reason SE offer a one time roll back of your character which would take some time "Could take a few days". But you end up with your character back from the last save point they have of the back up file of your character.
I would go ahead and call SE and ask to see what issue with your payment. Then once that fix get a roll back and wait for them to get that done. There really not much you can do beside that.