I have so many problems with what you just said, but I'll limit myself to the two main issues
A) Tanks have the responsibility to set the pace of the dungeon, adjusting the way they play if a healer or DPS is inexperienced or undergeared and cannot keep up. To suggest that the reverse is somehow not applicable is an incredible double standard.
B) AoE enmity abilities are meant to build hate, not to be spammed. A competent tank can open with one or two big shots and then move to the tab-targeting rotation, and can re-use AoE again should the healer or DPS start to creep up on them. That's what Kor meant. Hell, you main Paladin according to your profile, you know this.