Voice chat and anxiety

[Ninster]

As my posting history shows, I'm a barrel of real life issues that I am usually happy to ditch as soon as I'm able to play video games.

That being said, it's a bit confusing being relatively green to MMORPGs, when I've finally caught up to that point where casual play becomes too casual and progression content becomes a possibility.

Anyway, I had an FC mate try to help me out with rotation practice on SMN, and while I was a good sport and accepted the help, I freaked as soon as he asked if he could call me. I'm REALLY kicking myself at the moment because incidents like this have been frequent with my FC mates and I've apologize too many times to keep causing problems like this.

This got me to thinking, are there any raiders that deal with some form of anxiety or social anxiety that could help me... well, not do that? I mean... if I'm really going to push forward, I'm going to need to accept that at some point I'll be having to introduce myself to 7 strangers on a microphone.

[Kitfox]

I would never give out my phone number online to random people, if that's what you meant by calling.

As far as voice chat goes, I feel like it's only awkward the first couple of times you start using it. I used to be extremely self-concious about my English pronounciation and accent, but after using VOIP for sometime, you realize that nobody cares, as long as you're understood. And nobody really cares about introductions and such either, some people like to chat more, some people don't, just like with text chat. VOIP is mostly just an extra tool used for on-the-fly communication in battles. Of course, some people like to use it for socializing in general, but if you just want to raid, you mostly need to be able to listen raid calls and maybe call one or two words every now and then, if it's relevant to the fight.

[Angelusdemonus]

Personally, I see myself as a rather extreme introvert. But in some instances, if I'm in a social event or place, and I can either relate very well to it, or have a lot of knowledge with it, I'm ok with talking to people and such. Once I go into an area where I don't know much about, I'm usually silent and prefer to just sit and listen.

That might not apply to you since, again, it's a personal thing, but when it comes to gaming, I'm usually more comfortable with talking to other people. With that said, though, I prefer not to voice chat at all unless I really have to.

Just to give a few examples of what some of my friends have tried:

- I had one try streaming themselves and just talking about what they are doing to try to help it out a bit. Like you're talking to some audience. Maybe that might warm you up.

- I had another friend who normally is very quiet in a chat scenario, but if they wanted to be chatty, they would drink a bit because it would loosen them up. (I'm not a drinker, so I couldn't relate).

Another suggestion, which I prefer in most occasions, is just let your friend or your group talk it out and you listen in. You don't need to communicate back in voice. You can type out answers to questions in chat mode if needed, which I do. But a lot of people prefer to communicate in talking not because they want to hear *you* talk, but more that they can't express their words in text very well. They would rather "tell" you in person, instead of typing out a lengthy term paper.

[Mirili]

This got me to thinking, are there any raiders that deal with some form of anxiety or social anxiety that could help me... well, not do that? I mean... if I'm really going to push forward, I'm going to need to accept that at some point I'll be having to introduce myself to 7 strangers on a microphone.

Well, aside from occasional necessary call-outs, you can just sit there quietly and listen.

That's the big thing, really. To be able to at least hear the discussions and strategies.

No one I've raided with has had any problem with me doing just that. Hell, we had a member that never spoke except through a soundboard. :P Out of combat, I'll still often just type to respond to people. That said, it does get easier when those 7 people don't feel like strangers anymore. And that'll come with time.

[WinterLuna]

What helped me on Teamspeak was downloading an add on that changed my voice. Then they're not really listening to YOU.

[Terribad]

Just sit in there and listen, type in chat if verbally talking is too much. I have anxiety but mine is only when it comes to going outside and talking to people face to face. Rarely it will act up on voice chat.

But just say that you have social anxiety (or that you're shy if you don't want to share that information) and that you won't talk much. I don't think I've ever met anyone that had an issue with that, people usually will wait until you feel comfortable.

[Nicolepwned]

Hi! I have SAD and I've found that it's much easier to simply mute yourself when you join the chat. Once you feel comfortable, you can slowly nudge yourself out of your comfort zone.

I know it's a lot more easier said than done! If you feel comfortable about your anxiety, you can also say something to your static or group.

From personal experience: I joined my first static and kept myself muted for several turns. (We started on T10) Once I felt confident in my abilities and comfortable, I began talking during T13. Of course it was a bit of a surprise from my group. When I had first spoke, most of them were questioning who it was. :P A few were surprised I was even a chick.

Now with my current group, I had kept myself quiet during my trial-ish (Thordan Ex) and chatted via text. It was a much quicker transition and I began talking to them via voice the next day!

It also helps if you have somebody you are comfortable with in voice chat, as well!

[AkashiXI]

You can take it one step at a time. In the example you've given, I've helped a lot of FC members with their rotations, and I've usually coached via VOIP. Some don't like to talk, which is completely fine! I can talk on VOIP, and you can reply in-game . After awhile, maybe you can take the next step and say a few things on VOIP, but honestly... nobody really minds if you're shy. If I could make any recommendations to your anxiety, I'd do this:

1) Join a VOIP with friends or people you're close to.

2) Say upfront that you'll probably mute your mic because you're shy.

3) Listen and text back to them in-game. The more you interact, the easier it'll be to break the ice.

4) Take the opportunity to stay in chat even during non-progressive content, so the added stress of performing doesn't get to you as well.

In the end, it's about being comfortable with yourself, and everything else will fall into place. ^^ If you have friends in-game, regardless of how you sound, act, joke, or your pronunciation, they'll accept you.

[Whiteroom]

Ease yourself in by just listening. Thats the biggest part. Let the more experienced players guide you.

[raela]

I started by keeping my mic muted and saying it didn't work. I've known plenty of people who type in response instead of speaking, too. Being there to listen is way more important than holding a voice conversation. If they aren't ok with you typing back, they're jerks.