Yeah I think at least some of the issues you're encountering are down to people not having read the patch notes and not understanding the changes to Tank damage and enmity.
There shouldn't be a problem with holding enmity whilst in Tank Stance, even when relatively under-geared compared to the DPS, but the issues are coming when they change out of Tank stance to get more damage on the boss: the enmity lead builds much slower now, from my experience, so more time is needed in Tank stance.

It's a shame that it's taking these people so long to adjust to not holding enmity out of Tank stance though.