One thing I'd like to point out (since pretty much everything else that has been whined about in the OP has been proven false quite well in this thread) is that preconceived expectations may be a huge barrier for anyone who doesn't enjoy something, in any game, in any medium.
Take the notion that there isn't very much differentiation between the races: most games, both lore and gameplay wise, that do have distinct variation between them are specifically designed that way. Take WOW, for example: based on an RTS, where races define playstyles and mechanics, turned into an MMO. The races therefore change how each class functions per character choice, due to the ingrained nature of the world, and therefore affects the gameplay. The lore had been established long before WOW was made; it was static in functionality.
Think of the in-world societies and biology of those races in WOW. Can they crossbreed? Mostly, no. Did their societies form in completely different situations and have vastly different histories, having both time and distance dividing them for much of those time periods? Yes. Are there massive rifts in mentality and morals due to much of this division? Absolutely. Do note that the races in that game, in the whole grand scheme of the story, are still relatively new to each other, having only met somewhat recently in regards to their societies clashing. Much of this can be said about GW as well, by the way, and Everquest, which OP has stated he enjoyed the lore of quite well; all of these games have race playstyle differences.
Now also look at SWTOR, which OP also has mentioned as having deep lore (I'm sure it being a Star Wars game didn't help at all...). Does it have a different interactive storytelling style than FFXIV? Sure and definitely. I would imagine OP enjoyed it's specific style of story telling; however, compare the lore and gameplay of that game to the others I've mentioned...
Can different species in SW breed? Yes. Do they have separate societies that have only somewhat recently discovered each other? No, in fact most "races" have been aware of each other for most of their respective histories, and have even melded societies (it's even in the title - The Old Republic...that's one government over an entire galaxy.) Are there massive philosophical, societal, and moral differences based on race? For the most part in the canon, not really, but in-game? Nope, not at all. It's light-side versus dark-side, and that's not race based... Oh, and one last thing - are there gameplay differences between the different possible PC chosen races? NOT. AT. ALL.
My point here is, you can take any aspect of any given game and isolate it as to what you expect for all games, and by doing so you are essentially crippling your ability to enjoy a different kind of gameplay that in actuality has nothing wrong with it. The OP has complained about FFXIV having certain gaps in the lore, but then tried to reason it away by comparing it to games that are supposed to be different. The reason I used the example of race differentiation (which he said was "missing" in FFXIV) in MMOs is that in FFXIV it wouldn't make sense if there was huge variation in the races; it just doesn't fit the world they've built, let alone the gameplay style they want us to enjoy. The races have been enmeshed culturally for quite some time, they have always been genetically compatible (yes, this has been stated both in-game and out) for breeding, and their societies are no longer race based (I would like to point out though that there is in-game lore about some of the customs of each race before they met the others, just gotta pay attention). Lore affects gameplay, and vice-versa. Many people don't see it, but game dev's are in truth story tellers, and they build games as they see fit while balancing the game experience for the player to enjoy.
The OP is expecting this game to be games he's enjoyed in the past, and because this game has a very distinct identity compared to any other MMO, all he sees are problems where there are none. I won't say FFXIV is perfect, but I enjoy this game, it's depth, and its many, many aspects, including the vast lore. You need to let games be what they are, without adding your own expectations. If you can't, stop playing them.

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