Part of the problem is that the game design is a bit to free form with things like this, so the player base is able to make their own meta about how classes should be played. You'd think that'd be a good thing, and it is, until players start disagreeing with each other. I think SE needs to kind of make it clear (in-game) whether Healers (or tanks), should be dpsing or not. The player base isn't in agreement obviously, so we can't leave it up us. The game itself needs to say, yes you DPS or no you don't. How to accomplish, I have no idea, but the devs could really help out.

Or we could all just be nice to each other, I dunno.