I don't find players friendly.

[LilPink]

Hi,

I am really new to this game. I was always told great things about how friendly the people are but I'm having a difficult time believing it now that I'm playing and experiencing it first hand. I joined and FC but they are very cliquish (I suppose they've all been playing together for quite some time). I don't talk with anyone and the little I do say, often gets ignored. I don't ask for help because I don't really want it but I do enjoy chatting and I feel ignorant when I ask a question and get sarcastic answers- so much so, that I find myself just not bothering when Google gives me unclear results. I have a learning disability and it is difficult for me to retain information so I wanted a guild that was both active and friendly towards new players.

I am wondering if it is like this across the whole game; that there isn't much welcome for brand new players. Am I wrong in this assessment or did I just choose the wrong FC and server?

[Anova]

It sounds like the wrong FC honestly. Each FC's culture is different, so I would look around a bit more for a FC that suits you better. If you have 1 or 2 players you hang out with, consider asking them for social linkshell recommendations. They should be able to give you 1 or 2 recommendations and you can build from there. Eventually, you'll probably find a FC you like from those (i generally don't trust spammed recruitment messages, but they do let you network with a lot of players if you have nowhere to start).

There's several ways cliques form, but it is generally associated with a younger player age. Also, some FCs (like mine) don't spend too much time in the player chat and do most of its conversations in a VOIP. If you're not in the VOIP (which is public), you tend to miss out on a lot of conversations and socializing. It's just some food for thought on whether you're contacting them through the right channels. FCs usually advertise the chat channel if they have it and make that information available to all members.

Also, what kind of questions are you asking and what kind of answers do you get back? It's odd that a FC will only give sarcastic answers to an honest question, and it does suggest some deep-seated problems. I don't know what happened between you and the FC, but I will say if they're antagonistic towards you, you should probably leave. It's not good for anybody to be around people that hate each other.

[Risvertasashi]

Joining a group (and this applies to any game or similar) of friends that already know each other... occasionally, it can be great. If they are very welcoming. Most aren't, they just want to talk to people they already know.

Now if they're outright giving you sarcastic answers... Yeah, ditch them. I've found most people in the game pretty friendly but as with any generalization, it is nothing more than a generalization.

[Twilite]

Joining a group (and this applies to any game or similar) of friends that already know each other... occasionally, it can be great. If they are very welcoming. Most aren't, they just want to talk to people they already know.

Which has been the primary thing working against me in making meaningful friendships. You're at a disadvantage with people who have established friendships.

[Zephrey]

Which has been the primary thing working against me in making meaningful friendships. You're at a disadvantage with people who have established friendships.

Most free companies, unless you build on from scratch or its brand new will have these sort of friendships. You could always do what I did and force your way into these "cliques" takes a bit of effort but it's 100% possible. That's how a friend of mine for 10 years met. He wanted to do stuff, so he went and did everything with people he found interesting. He made sure if there was something happening, he was being apart of it. Some people wait to be personally invited to do things, other people ask to join. And ask to participate. Those are the kinds of people that tend to get further in a "clique" type group.

I have a "clique" and I constantly invite people outside of said clique to join. Constantly welcoming, constantly asking if they want to come along. It can be tiring, especially when later down the line they say things like, "They don't feel welcomed." When I see a person log on and I say, "Hey! We've been waiting to see you get on! Wanna do stuff with us?" and then weeks later they say they're unwelcomed. I don't know, I think some people try to purposely try to avoid other people with friends, and think of every reason not to join them. Or be apart of their "group" because it was already once established.

Some cliques are very welcoming, if you're willing to work on a friendship just as much as they try to. Some people just don't want to, or come up with every excuse not to because they feel they "can never fit in" when that's never always the case.

[Kosmos992k]

Joining a group (and this applies to any game or similar) of friends that already know each other... occasionally, it can be great. If they are very welcoming. Most aren't, they just want to talk to people they already know.

Yep, Risvertasashi is right, and it can be discouraging.

I think the key is finding a Free Company that is newbie and new person friendly. Many FCs say that they are, but they are also kind of structured around progression, and that itself tends to form clumps of players who play within that small group and don't interact as much with the rest of the company. It's not that people are necessarily unfriendly, but the game encourages players to work with static groups for end-game progression and this does lead to cliquish behaviors, but it's not typically out of malicious intent. If end-game progression is your cup of tea, then you may find it easier to integrate into a FC once you are able to participate in that type of content.

On the other hand if end-game progression is not the thing that lights your candles, or perhaps lights a few candles in the back - so to speak, you may be better served by smaller free companies that are not focused on end-game progression. There are some FCs that describe themselves as social, but sometimes it's more like a club 18-30 kind of thing. So you still may want to shop around to find the right fit for yourself. My Free Company is not end-game progression focused. We have player that participate in that content in statics of their choosing outside the FC, but the FC is focused on simply enjoying our life in Eorzea. I think that for brand new players who are not focused on end-game progression, a Free Company that focuses on playing the game for the pleasure of playing together with others.

Last thing is that this is a social environment, so communication is key. Unfortunately that means that it shares many things with real life, so it can be hard to get started with a group of friends. On the other hand, because this is an online environment people are more free to be who they want to be, so some people who in the real world are a bit shy and introverted, may be more extroverted and talkative in-game. That makes it a bit easier to integrate, and become a part of the community. Of course to an extent you'll get back what you put in as well.

On the darker side of things, because this is an online environment with little fear of consequence, and no real player reputation system in place, there is a small but vocal group of players who simply don't care if they walk all over you, ignore you, insult you or simply use you because there is very little consequence for their action. I call this anonymous group of Internet fiends the "Eye of Moron"... Avoid the Eye's gaze.

Seriously though, ask around, talk to FC members of a few FCs you've looked at, and try to find a friendly, relaxed group who play for fun.

[dementiondrive]

with how the game is set up and who it brought over from all walks of life. this is sadly the result. there is little to no consequences. pull out duty finder and you will see a huge influx players whine and see on a server by server of people now getting blacklisted for troll, attitude, etc. when we had 1.0. there was nothing of duty finder and a lot of other things were way different. that is where a lot of people will say the community was actually friendly. we had to help each other out or not even progress.

now though people just do not care.

so my advice is to look around. ask for FC that are helpful and recruiting. i did not thrive with people across the server. i server changed 3 times till i found a actual FC that we do things together. answer questions and just have fun on a regular basis.

so keep looking and do not give up.

[AskaRay]

Sounds like some jerks, unfortunately.. I'd never give a newbie sarcastic answers (sometimes I do that to friends, but I know they've been playing for a bit so they should know the answers... anyway). I mean, you're still learning the game you aren't a two-year veteran.
I also say drop the FC and find a new one, if you want. I personally didn't join an FC for a long time; it depends on what you want socially from the game. If you have made any friends in this current FC, then start a linkshell group and add them that way, so you can still talk to them.

But FCs are mainly for help and if you aren't feeling comfortable asking for it, it's time to move on.

Good luck

[Malicewolf]

Yup, what everyone else has said so far. I think the FC you're in just isn't the right fit. I suggest moving on to another place. Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed to ask questions. I know my FC is very friendly, but we also mostly all know each other IRL. So if someone new joins, we don't necessarily go out of our way to cater to them. If they ask however, we will help if we can help (most of time, we can). Sometimes being quiet when you need help is more harmful than helpful. But sometimes, it's just not the right fit.

[LilPink]

Thanks for the thoughtful responses, everyone.

I don't have anyone to play with in the game that is a friend irl. My husband doesn't seem to be interested in playing as he is still raiding content in WOW, playing Fallout 4 and Battlefront in his free time. I really enjoy this game, it's new to me and after 8 years of the same game, that is a novelty that I don't think will go away for sometime. I'm a shut-in and don't get out much so the computer and games are a way for me to communicate with people. When I'm rebuffed in the game, it hurts my feelings and gives me a bad vibe. I have been trying to concentrate on learning the content but my brain can only allow me to go so far and I learn from engaging, not reading big walls of texts!