Should i just stop DPSing in dungeons?

[Blitzace]

So.. lately it just seems when ever you try to learn a tank/healer/dps something new they ALWAYS take it the wrong way.

Just did a vault run as a WHM my GF was on nin.

Dungeon started out fine, We said hi etc. First pull, i holy -> aero 3 -> holy. i see i'm getting hate, i stop my dps. But wait, the tank doesn't even try to get it back, so instead of healing him i ended up healing my self. 15 seconds in, Still no flashes or attempts to get hate off, I asked him. can you use flash please. Doesn't use flash. doesn't say a single thing.

Next few pulls he doesn't even use CDs well, barely. Boss fight, Not one single cooldown was used besides sheltron + Divine Veil
Kinda got annoyed but didn't say a thing decided i just wanted to ride the dungeon out and probably never see him again.
Next pull he left the two last mobs alone which i found strange so i just got em(Blame it on me)

Ran back with the mobs to him, Pre-cast holy as they came in it went off, Aero 3-> Holy again. Suprise suprise he did not flash. I died, and well yeah.. dead healer equals dead party usually.

Now i asked him again, for the love of god please use flash, You can't hold hate without it as a PLD. He was already losing hate to my GF prior to it.

Then i got blamed because i shouldn't DPS and my equipment sucked.
Well in all honesty, My equipment was not a perfect 10/10. But then again, i had not a single problem DPSing+Healing up till this point, and the only problem was him not holding hate nor even trying. And then started to blame me. Well at this point my other half got mad and dismissed him, Can't blame her. Then his friend called me a douche and said i was a bad healer blablabla.

New tank came in we killed the first group of mobs just fine(He was in DPS stance) All went fine but this one lost hate too. Didn't wanna get the same thing started so i ignored it. The friend DPS that was still there just stood AFK. He went to pull the 2 big mobs with the Justice Cleave attacks. He ate them both without any CDs in DPS stance.. At this point i just kinda gave up. We kicked the AFK and left, requeued and got a PLD who used flash *Praise the lord! Oh lord!* And finished the dungeon without one single issue, And this tank was NEW to the dungeon, unlike the other two i had.

This is the 3rd tank in a short time that just completely ignored his duties as a tank in result of me DPSing. I already had a few tanks who ignored aoes(just ate em) and bluntly said, You shouldn't be DPSing you're wasting your MP(Keep in mind they never died nor had to wait for my MP to come back)

Now my question is, Should i as a healer just not DPS at all ? Should i just sit there, Cast regen skills top you up and pick my nose or something? what is the GD issue with me DEALING DMG, increasing the speed things die, And keeping you alive!

TLDR.

What is so wrong with a healer DPSing as long as there is no one dropping on the floor as a result, Besides the bad guys..

[Martin_Arcainess]

You will meet some people that are so sore its untrue as in, you think they had a mental problem or something. I had today a healer in VA today and he said something like "Be good if people could dodge" and I replied with "oh yeah I'll just ninja dodge to the left or right" and he left shortly afterwards.
1. We didn't wipe in the 1st boss
2. the dive bomb marker person didn't move away so of course people got hit.
3. 2 people in our party died?

So yeah that was my salt for today just need some vinegar.

Now in reply to you answer. Lol I find it a waste of MP if you have plenty left over, moderation is the key and if you can DPS and keep party alive that's MP well managed.

so in short, play as you want to play and don't let not so good tanks hold you back. I mean if he wasn't flashing your healing would have grab aggro anyway so what else did he expect you to do?

[Acyd]

You just need to be able to adjust to all different types of tanks. Terrible tank and cant hold hate? Focus on healing him more. Awesome tank who uses cool downs and you notice he doesnt need heals as much? DPS as much as you feel comfortable with. Just gotta be dynamic about it, and learn to go with the flow. Also, as you probably know at this point in life, some people are just assholes. No fixing that.

[Vidu]

Maintank (even paladin!) here and I beg you to not stop dps'ing! You were doing fine - a level 57 tank should have learned by now how to tank. If he didnt, its his fault and his fault alone - sadly its you problem after all but one that should be solved with a votekick after 2 or 3 attemtempts to explain to that guy what he should be doing (and yes, thats okay, SE said so themselves - and yes, I consider it harrassment if someone doesnt perform at least the minimum of their class, which would - for a paladin - be: Flash your soul out!).

It is true that you have to make adjustments to your own playstyle depending on the group - new tank? Might watch out to heal him a bit more since he doesnt know the dungeon. "Bad" gear? No CDs? Maybe even said something like "Hey, I'm a bit rusty"? - Probadly not a good idea to go full deeps on the first pull.
But as long as you feel confident with healing and dpsing - please, please go for it!

...if been running some libarys lately to get my DRK to 60 and I met scholars that were only casting heals, mostly physick. It made me cry. Healing me, while I got 90% of my HP left. While I was using CDs and couldnt really use my self-healing skills (which are pretty nice on DRK) because as soon as I got a scratch the healer would cast heals on me - instead of throwing around some DOTs... didnt said anything though because they were doing the minimum of their job and therefor "okay" - but a tank who doesnt even try to hold hate? Nope, not your fault.

[Risvertasashi]

Some tanks have the attitude of "if you take hate you get to tank it", which is a bit ridiculous if they expect you to stop even healing. Then again, some others are just really bad.

Adjust to the party. If the tank is undergeared and struggling, but seems to be making an honest effort and does respond to advice? If he can't handle enmity from holy spam, I won't do it.

Your tank, however... vote dismiss is there for a reason.

[Critical-Limit]

I'm curious what your DPS was doing that you pulled hate over them?

[Blitzace]

@Martin Exactly. couldn't agree more i just don't see the point on sitting 75-100% MP and just waiting till i can fire off a cure or a regen. i rather Dot some mobs or spam some holy!

@Acyd, I would agree to a point. Yes, as a healer,tank or dps. You will have to adjust to other people at times, But when some person just doesn't bother(In this case the tank) to hold aggro, There is not much i can do. Cause its either the DPS or me will get hate, When the DPS get hate it results me in healing them more as they take more DMG resulting in more hate and everyone just gets a mob which shouldn't be the case. Espescially not for a 58 tank.

@ Vidu Mhm! The kind of tank i like! And indeed, if this guy would've said just one sentence, or just even ask me not to DPS. I'm so fine with that. I just DPS cause i don't want to sit still and i wanna carry my weight. But he didn't sadly.
And scholars that don't dps make me cringe! i love playing on my sch and DPSing. i know my fairy will do most of the healing and i can just go full out DPS mode 9/10 times in dungeons. Love it!

@Ris This is true. But he didn't even put in an effort to build hate up on anything, besides the ONE single mob he was attacking.

@Critical If you have ever played PLD or even remotely looked at someone playing it, If this person does not rotate his skill set and use flash atleast a few times, he's not gonna hold hate against jobs with a AoE skill set(For example holy)
It was not even remotely hard to pull of hate cause he didn't bother with flash nor did he even use CoS....

And i'm honestly fine with people who are not as good or maybe even rusty or what ever the excuse is. The problem is simply, when one person does not even make an attempt to do his job and just expects a free ride through the dungeon.
Which as a tank is gonna be very difficult, And then when gets spoken to, Even in a civil matter he gets angry and blames it on me. Now i might have been DPSing, but that was not the reason we wiped. The reason was very simple, Tank doesn't hold hate. Mobs go berserk on everyone besides the tank.

[Callback]

Yes you should DPS. So should the tank attempt. As long as nothing goes wrong the entire party should be going for maximum combined dps to get the shitty grind SE excuses as a "dungeon" over with as quickly as possible and let everyone move on with their lives.

[Nyghtmarerobu]

Keep on doing what you do OP. People have to learn eventually, and hopefully, when said person gets vote dismissed, they might do some reflection on themselves and see what they were doing wrong, or talk to a FC mate about how to better play their class/job. But I doubt it, people are quick to anger and point at others for their own shortcomings. Don't stress it.

[Uhm]

I feel kinda bad if my healer doesn't DPS, makes me think I'm not mitigating damage well enough so they feel unsave. I always like when a healer is DPSing... UNLESS I'm not geared as well as the rest of the party (never undergeared though) and they see I'm struggeling a bit, in that case please stop for a little while or/and pop Shroud of Saints.