Your most ridicilous FFXIV Job ideas

[manamoppet]

It's winter, the cold is here, and many sit indoors with darkness outside. Amusement is needed. What ridiculous Job could you imagine to have or exist in-game? It could be something mundane, or something else re-imagined as DOW, DOM, DOL, or DOH. Maybe a Pacifist Tank Job? Manderville Man Job? Battle Cook? What could the abilities, skills, spells, traits, and/or Limit Break be?

What about a battle version of Weaver, similar to the Mascot dressphere from FFX-2? Or how about something like the Festivalist? What would they be like in FFXIV?

Make up. Mash up. Be weird. Go wild. Expand on each others ideas.

You could do something short, like:

Dreamer/Pacifist:
Abilities:

• Sleep: Consume MP to regenerate HP of self.
• Meditate: Regenerate MP of self.

Or, be vague:

Puzzler:
Ability:

• Cait's Cradle: (Cat's cradle) Different forms produce different spells.

Limit Break:

• Gordian Knot: Cutting string.

Or take it out completely:

Folklorist/Recorder Job

• Main weapon: Book with inkwell and quill.
  
• Book: Hit target with a book.
  
• Big Book: Hit target with a bigger book.
  
• Library Avalanche: Hit target with all the books.
  
• Pass note: Passes an effect to a target, friendly or foe.
  
• Table flip: Stuns target.
  
• Bookmark: Throw a bookmark at target to damage it.
  
• Paperweight: Apply Heavy to target.
  
• Happy ending: Resurrect target.
  
• Children's Song: Gives random effect to target.
  
• Blanket Fortress: Hide and reduce enmity.
  
• Change ink: Apply ink to pen.
  
• Record: Attempt to record an effect or attack.
  
• Recall: Apply recorded effect to target.
  
• Re-Write: Change recorded effect or attack to a different one.
  
• Erase: Remove detrimental effect.
  
• Fiery Eyes: Your soul is set ablaze with inspiration! Increases skill-speed for a time.
  
• Writer's Block: ... (Fail a recording.)

Trait:

• Recycle: Ink need not be applied as often.

Limit Break:

• Burning ink: Write in the air with burning ink, and fire it toward an enemy.

[Kabooa]

Mathemagician.

You fight evil.

With numbers.

[Byonka]

Tank Job: Sheep Herder.
Summon up to 10 sheep and herd towards your enemies and foes.
Season your sheep to increase enmity.
Breed them to reduce the Summon cooldown.
Consume a sheep to regain health.
Wolf's Skin mimic the look of a predator, lowing your enmity by half.

Limit Break: The Great Flockening.

[Rufalus]

Moogle Knight, Wrestler, Shapeshifter

[MistakeNot]

Mathemagician.

You fight evil.

With numbers.

Isn't that pretty much what the Arcanist does?
Alright, so they use geometric patterns rather than numbers, but it is mathematics nonetheless.

[Nekotee]

Merchant !
Well a bit similar to the possible chemist...
But with a possibility to enhanced DPS by giving them "weapon"

Like "take something in the bag" > a staff > use on Blm to enhanced magic potency
If no Blm... Then throw it on the ennemy to deal some dmg

...

Limite break would be drowning the ennemy under millions of gils !

[Osteichthyes]

The Designer:
Transform into Yoshi-P, challenge based on having people shout random things at you. Kinda like Simon.

[Anova]

Red Mage... Except this is a Job focused on their debonair charm than magic prowess.

Increase the affection of various npcs and then send them to battle like Pets! Will you use the tanky Aymeric? Maybe some magic damage with Y'shtola? Will you sacrifice Minfilia to Edda so you can resurrect and buddy up with a ghostly Hauchefant? The love interest and dating sim mini-game is yours to choose!

Note: Wide-brimmed, feathered AF hat does not necessarily come in hot pink.

[VanilleFang]

Sage. Let's just say it functions like it does in a few other FF games. It's like a Red Mage, but it's a pure mage. My ideas for it were... ridiculous, and rather stupid. It's be a lot of work to go into.

[Jhett_Magnum]

It's been said earlier, but imo the most oddball job out there is Arithmetician. It's crazy broken if used correctly.