From where I stand, it seems like some people want to take less damage and just focus on holding hate. Others want to be able to do more damage as a tank to shorten encounters.

Both sides are offended at each other... Why can't we have both?

A tank that just sits there, holding hate and taking little to no damage and hitting like a wet noodle is boring.
A tank that takes too much damage, dies all the time focusing purely on doing damage is a bad thing.

Where is the middle ground?