why during cutscene its always like this ... (small spoiler)

[Elleia]

There needs to be some sort of give and take for this though. In the beginning, when our characters are first introduced this mentality was more easily acceptable. We were new, and still had some growing to do so. Our meekness seemed to be a product of this so we swallowed it. We needed the Scions to protect us from harm, and show us the way. But that's no longer the case, the story has steered us into formidable warriors of light, capable of standing toe to toe with beings who rival even gods.

The disparity in canon between the plot of the story and our character is becoming more and more apparent because our characters still act as hapless as they did when they first arrived. At some point, certain liberties need to be taken to align our character's role in the story, otherwise the story dissonance only grows, and pulls the player further from the story. And the "Story" in a Final Fantasy game has almost always been Square's largest appeal, especially to the players who actually take the time to watch all the cutscenes and not just skip them.

As players we need to accept that the main story is going to make certain decisions for us, these are the unique elements that push the story forward and further our role in FFXIV. This failure to adapt the role they're crafting us, to our character is what we're seeing here, like a small bubble rising to the surface with an audible popping sound, we're immediately pulled from our immersion when the idea the story is giving us and what we see, is so different.

I certainly don't disagree with you - I'd love to see a little more player involvement during cutscenes myself. As someone who plays primarily healers, I'd love to see my character pop some cool shields or even throw out a damage spell or two at times.
However, SE is more than likely going to continue doing more of the same, sadly, and limit our overall story interaction to trials and duties. In 3.0 and 3.1, they have been introducing dialogue choices which, while a step in the right direction, ultimately change nothing. But these choices allow us to shape our characters a little more, and I hope they continue to add these and offer even more personality options. It'd be great if they offered us a way to 'declare' a personality for our characters that could have an affect on cutscenes and actions, but this is just a dream of mine as a result of too much Dragon Age.