I think the difficulty here is a disconnect in ideologies that comes back to the current tanking paradigm/meta. In the current situation, because of how predictable and low the damage going out is, and because of how tight the DPS checks are, groups in general are prioritizing DPS capability over just about anything else. Tanks are actively encouraged to gear Slaying for max-level content, and to tank in their DPS stance as often as possible because of how precious DPS is. While a pair of excellent healers will be able to capitalize on extra mitigation to greater effect, the majority of healers simply don't have that capacity for one reason or another. And so the damage meta persists and reigns.
Extra mitigation is good. As a tank, any time you can give yourself even a small chance at taking less damage, it should be The Thing To Do. But because of the persistent prevalence of the DPS meta (where WAR-DRK reigns supreme), mitigation in general holds very little value. A survival-minded tank will want to Stoneskin as many autoattacks as they can, because it puts less stress on the healers. And in my Alexander Normal runs, when I've spammed Stoneskin on myself for ~50% of the fight, I've had more success than when I try to hang out in Sword Oath and DPS the boss (mostly because it means I generally require less healing, and I'm personally a lot less trusting of DF healers--and the DPS checks aren't as stringent). But I expect that in Savage, my ~18k HP pool and 1800 HP shields won't really help out that much (because of how heavily the raid relies on good DPS output).
To paraphrase my FC healer, even when there's scripted damage going out, every little bit of mitigation and healing helps contribute to their ability to keep the raid alive. I got to 195 in full Slaying, and she asked me to go Fending, bringing me back down to 190. While I saw my DPS dip a bit, she reported that because of the extra mitigation, she had a lot more room to keep her DOTs up and spam Stone/Holy (which she could get away with, because she didn't need to use as much mana to keep me up). And the extra DPS she was able to put out more than made up the difference.
Point being a good healer will be able to capitalize on every scrap of extra mitigation you can give them, but healers that can do that are relatively rare. And when you couple this with the fact that Alexander Savage trivializes mitigation, it makes Paladins feel about as useful as mounted cavalry in modern warfare.
They're both PLDs. It's like watching them try to kill each other with pool noodles.
EDIT: What's also interesting (intentional or not) is how Clemency scales. When you're Fending-geared, Stoneskin is more mana-efficient, because it will shield for 1800-2000 (actual mileage may vary), while I've seen Clemency only hit for 3500-4500 (so a little more than double the mana for a little more than double the healing). However, in Slaying gear, because Clemency scales with Strength, I've noticed my Clemency consistently topping 7000-8000 (while Stoneskin only mitigates 1450-1500). This makes Clemency about five times as mana efficient as Stoneskin. Not sure what this says about the skills and the tanking paradigm/meta, but I wanted to float it out there.



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