Hah!

For realz tho,

There's nothing wrong with equipping a bunch of Attack+, Dex+, or + crit materia; a bladed lantern shield; and chomping down on some meat instead of bread, all while using a Invigorate -> Light Stab -> Heavy Stab -> Heavy Slash -> Riot blade to start with, maybe with a Raging Strike thrown in as well.

I quite often out-damage supposed DD's in my party with such a setup.