My favorite an primary class is war, love it!I been playing it since 1.0.
im very sorry you been having such a bad experience in DF with the war job but not all of us are really that bad an lot of us understand a little bit more about stance dancing(at least on my own exp).
myself once I get in DF I check the party gear an from there I can decide what type of pull I can do, I always start in defiance, do my pull with flash use enfuriate an steel cyclone using bloodbath cast a CDs one at a time an once I have 2 enemies an one about to die I swipe to deliverance, this gives the healer an better time for healing an also dps the trash an once the trash is down to 2 a war can self heal an healer will not have to heal me, war is a great job an has lot of utility, but a war should always build lot of agro before swiping to dps stance specially if SMN, BLM are in group.Hope you get a better experience on the future.
Sry for bad grammar my English is not too good.