While traveling to Pharos Sirius to slay the siren—blamm!—a detective of unquestionable wit literally fell out of the sky. I immediately sensed something great about him, but I must confess, it was not his intelligence that caught my attention.

It was his senseless, yet selfless, determination that truly impressed me. I informed him of my plans and he agreed to help, but I found myself tangled in his misadventures: a string of seemingly unrelated thefts, gang warfare between moogle crimelords, a bad cactuar mount idea, abductions by little green lalafell from the moon, and a murderous plot involving foot odor. After an older man in sunglasses (the only thing he wore aside from underpants) suplexed a train, things started getting weird. I’ll spare you the details, but we ended up saving Eorzea!