Brand spankin' new static needs warm meatsacks to fill empty holes [FRESH] [SPICY]

[whyami]

Hello, mortals. Are you tired of the deeply-permeating stench of fart coming from party and/or duty finders? Do you want to hate yourself in a uniquely caring, loving nightmare-pit rather than your usual one? Is it your wildest dream to stand below the mighty girth of the Pepsiman and the Cheese Machine one day and say, "I did a thing"?

If not, I'll wait a second for you to stop reading so you can safely distance yourself from the screeching rasp of my text-voice.

Still there?

Good.

My name is Can't "Jump Into The Orange" Even, and if you can tolerate all this nonsense then I sure do have an offer for you! Because as it happens, an abso-lutely non-used, non-refundable, minty-fresh STATIC GROUP FOR THE ACCOMPLISHMENT OF ALEXANDER SAVAGE is forming!

Half of us by number (but less by weight) currently sit under the august auspices of the quivering FC-mass known as DOLO, but we have approximately no membership requirement. We want to go in and tussle with robots for, ideally, three days out of the week. The precise schedule is being organized, perhaps even as you speak!

The positions in our delightful human pyramid that should be filled before it collapses are:
-WAR or NIN or MNK

If you are any of the above and still somehow think this is a remotely good idea: Congratulations! You did it! Feel free to post in this thread about how much you love me and maybe we'll talk about joining if you're flattering enough.

See you on the most radical flip side, fellow youth,

-Can't "Sweet Potato" Even

[whyami]

Days close to confirmed: Likely Tuesday, Wednesday, and occasional Saturday.