Eh, i can see it from both ends of the spectrum honestly. I remember the first time I tanked WoD I remember thinking "How the hell am I going to hold aggro over 23 people" but I digress.

See, DPS are a grey area in every MMO, Tanks and Healers are held to a higher accountability because the dungeon (pending it isn't a DPS Race, IE Bismarck EX first phase) then the DPS isn't really needed, all they do is make it go faster or perform a multi-person mechanic (Like Bibliotech in Library). Tanks and Healers are nearly 9 times out of 10 the reason a dungeon succeeds or doesn't. If you can't hold aggro because you're a bad tank, people will let you know, if you can't heal they will as well, and if you screw up as a DPS and someone notices, 99% of the time you're gonna get called out and yelled at. (I did this once on A4, I forgot to soak the laser and got yelled at lol) or even kicked from the duty outright. I've been a part of many dungeons with people undergeared and getting yelled at for it.

However, don't think I'm not agreeing with you though. I do, the general populace here is rather "yeah, whatever, go about my day" when it comes to bad DPS and defend it with the "They pay 15 dollars to play how they want if it's bad or not" is just dumb, considering I do as well and would like people have a sense of wtf they are doing. But the problem with the undergeared, the ramifications it has on Healers and Tanks are FAAAR greater than it does a DPS. Losing 300 dps is livable in 95% of the dungeons as opposed to physically not being able to progress from the other perspective. Tanks and Healers to me will always be real "specialization" classes