Should I Just Quit The Game?

[BrokenFox]

You seem like a good guy OP, but to be perfectly blunt

Stop spilling your emotional guts to everyone, because frankly, most will not care. That's just life. Be mindful of who you open up to. And remember people play this game to chill and zone things out for a bit. The one guy bogging things down with real life drama will quickly become a drag to be around.

[Mischief_Minion]

I don't think you should. Yeah there is a number of bad seeds in the game but its all about finding those who can understand. If you wish to continue playing you can come join my FC. We know the damage that false rumors can start, our FC leader specifically has gone through it. We are a small FC sure but it lends to a closer knit feel which may be what you need, at least for a bit.

I joined this game at the first anniversary. I have met many different types of people. Some utter arses, some who like yourself just wanted a haven from RL for a bit, and hardcore players. I have had times too where I wanted to quit but found things that kept me in. ^_^ Find something you enjoy, hold to that and when you get on look for Mi'lies Boundthread. I'd like to friend you if I could

[Risvertasashi]

I don't usually see this level of drama outside of RPers.

Without actual chatlogs (and given the long term nature of such relations, maybe even with them), it's impossible to be frank and point out if/where you might have steered wrong. But the least they could have done is be honest.

Find a new group, move on...

[Velox]

Hey Mathias, not sure if you remember me, but send me a /tell in-game (or moogle mail) when I'm on later (you should still be on my contacts list). I joined an extremely friendly FC and I'm sure they'd love to have you as well. It's a very laid-back atmosphere that focuses on friends and fun first and foremost.

[Novaura]

My FC leader had the same problem. He had some very good real life friends who created and built up the FC and they were very happy together. But then at the start of this year, his friends left the FC because people from another FC started some nasty rumours about him and left without ever giving a reason. As a result, he and his friends no longer talk to each other and our FC has been decimated as a result. Our leader has now become unwilling to recruit anymore because anyone that he or those of us who are left recruit, goes to the other FC likely for the same unknown reasons. I share your pain OP, but if I could make a suggestion, find some new friends and leave the old ones behind and if possible, create your own FC. Don't give up on the game, when you could start it anew.

[MistyMew]

Over the years of playing MMORPGs I've found the best way to make friends is to avoid people altogether. The friends I've met are people that I actually bothered to continue .............. Sounds like you had a bad draw but if you get past it and move on you'll find good friends in the end.

This
Also make certain you have the right medical care to treat depression (Im sure you do though)

Remember too op, for me only 1/500 people I meet in games will ever amount to a true friend, that's just the way of the internet sadly. I have made a few genuine friends, with personalities I respect over the years but they are few and far between. Friends are not the same as internet comrades so finding them is much more difficult.

Get to know ppl a bit from a distance..their true nature will show quickly anyway, don't waste time on anyone that wont show common courtesy. Its a red flag if they cant show common courtesy or only do when they want something from you... {no thanks!}

Please do not quit the game over other people.

Be honest, never phony and people that are worth knowing will follow, it doesn't have to be many, I would take 1 decent person >entire game population any day of the week. Down to earth , good natured people are there op, just very very difficult to find sometimes.

[Catwho]

First off: No, you shouldn't quit. FFXIV has one of the nicer communities, so even if this was a not-so-nice experience for you, if you enjoy the game in general, just find new people instead of a new game



Now to go a bit more into detail:
Of course there is a chance that you just got really unlucky and all the people you met so far were kind of..meh. But since you said yourself that you had the same problem with people from various linkshells, not just your fc, there certainly IS a high possibility that something in your everyday online behaviour drives others away. I don't know you personally, so I'm not going to judge, but at least in my experience, people with depression, social anxiety and the like tend to get...stressful, in games.
I had several aquientances with these problems in the past, and while they all were nice people I had fun with, could talk about the newest anime/music/games/whatever with, vent about school or work together, etc., as time passed, I felt more and more pressured by them. It became an issue of "I might kill myself if I get too lonely" and "Everything else in my life is shit, having fun with you is the only positive thing in my life". As time went on, I didn't log in because I was looking forward to our conversations, it was because I felt worried and obligated to keep the person happy. I just wanted to have fun, no stings attached, not have the responsibility for someone else's life. I became seriously worn out from every conversation we had and felt more and more that I wanted to end it, but it dragged on because I was too worried to cut ties with the person because of that sense of responsibility they had instilled in me, and because they were nice people, not aware of the problem.

Now I'm not saying you act like that, but from the way you described your situation, there is a possiblity that your ingame friends might have felt a little bit similar to what I experienced in the past.

This really strikes a chord with me. I consider myself a friendly, nice person - easy to get along with, treat others fairly, etc. The problem is that I don't know how to handle emotionally needy people, because I'm the opposite of emotionally needy. I'll chat on topics I'm interested in, and ignore topics I don't have anything to say about. So my ignoring the topic of conversation should never be construed as ignoring the person, but I've had people make that mistake in the past and accuse me of ignoring them. I've had people that I was friendly toward latch completely onto me, start sending me tell conversations daily, demanding that I give them attention and emotional energy I didn't plan to spend. Friendship with them became exhausting.

For this reason, I have an alt that is not attached to any FCs. That character doesn't have any friends. He is on permanent busy. If I'm not in the mood to talk, I use him.

But also for that reason, and partly because of the spammers, I do not respond to tell conversations. If you want to talk to me, you have to do it in a public space. That way, I'm not the only person obligated to maintain a conversation that I frankly may not be even interested in carrying. I have a special LS that I'll invite people to, if they want to hold a conversation with me, but that'll also go out to everyone else in that linkshell. I don't do one on one conversations in the game any more, because the risk of emotional energy drain from them has historically been too high.

Back to the OP's situation: I agree with most people above. Take a break, but don't quit the game entirely. Look for chat community linkshells on your server and consider joining one of them.

[ChandraNoctis]

Are you sure that sharing problems or vents when other share theirs isn't coming across as one-upmanship? If someone is venting about something, immediately responding with your own problem that is worse than theirs can be very very annoying to some people rather than comforting.

[Kerii]

Instead of quitting the game, or taking a break, just to return to the same people and situations. Why don't you make a change of pace and transfer to a new server? I'm not entirely sure what you're seeking in your future free company, or even your friends. However, I don't know that posting your problems to complete strangers on the internet is much more helpful than just talking to a trusted friend about them. I'd even say that I and my fc would be happy to accept someone in your position.

On a personal level, I feel like it is difficult to make a judgement call on your situation in particular. There are often two sides to every story, and they are rarely identical. I do believe that quitting the game, or taking a break, just to continue the same dilemmas with a new set of faces wouldn't do you much good. I also don't think that it would help with what you started playing the game to assist you with in the first place. I wish I could offer you better advice, but it's hard to do so without enough information. Either way, if you ever find yourself on Sargatanas look me and my FC up. We're friendly, and I will be happy to work directly with you on a personal level if there are problems you need to know about.

[Wobble]

I would take a few months break maybe. I did this before 3.0 due to depression and came back for 3.0, unfortunately I'm back where I was before that point and my sub runs out tomorrow and I'm not renewing, but honestly if I were you maybe just take a break and come back and see if it has changed for you, if not then maybe the game is causing some depression and quitting may be the way to go.