Tales from Duty Finder: Some make you laugh, some make you cry. Let's vent.

[Escalon]

First the Drake that spawns from the fountain, right after the second boss, Tank grabs it and manages to Tank it without an issue, so we run up and its Pork Bits again, at this time we just resigned ourself, AST switched to <Diurnal Sect> Popped EVERTHING that has a Heal over time effect and popped <Divination> So we start murdering the living hell out of the Bacon Bits. I tanked 2, Tank had one and DRG had the rest.

The next trash was actually uneventful, DRG Tanked one Knight, I had One, AST had one and DRK had one. Now for the last 3, We just started to slap the one the DRK was tanking mainly...except, he was tanking the big one, not the healer. AST at this point being resigned to his fate as a Heal Bot, just pops his Heals over Time, Marks the mob 1 as a signal for me and the DRG to just nuke it or this HELL wont ever end. So we go to town on it

<Insert aggro sound here>

Finally, we are at the End, FINALLY THIS IS GONNA END!

Last boss

We stand before the last boss, DRK standing proudly in front of us.
The BLM and the DRG trying to drag the mentally scarred and screaming AST into the Boss room.

Battle commence!

The start goes without a problem, we DPS, the AST heals, and the DRK does Tank things. Queue the first cross shaped fire, we drop it somewhere so we do not hit others, DRK drops it under him and just stands there...menacingly. AST is crying uncontrollably, heals him up, time for Blue Fire, the one you have to pass on something, so Me, DRG and AST do just that. DRK is just standing there...menacingly. AST is on full Panic mode, couple seconds in, the sound I'm so familiar with in this run.

<Insert aggro sound here>

AST instantly <Ascend> the DRK, meanwhile we are in the Hit and Run mechanic, so we spread, DRK TO THE RESCUE! Runs in front all of us while hitting <Provoke>, gaining 3 stacks of <Vulnerability> AST forgot about the card system, and embraced his role as an Healing Bot, Second Fire Crosses, again we all spread, except our DRK, he is again, standing there...menacingly. Explodes and goes down to around 10%, uses <Living Dead>, AST panic reaches maximum, tops the DRK in no time, DRK takes the tank buster, back to 1HP, <Living Dead> falls off.

<Insert aggro sound here>

AST is screaming, DRG in just accepting it, BLM is just resigned.
I tank it just for a bit since we get lucky again and get the Hit and Run mechanic, this time AST leaves the DRK dead AFTER the mechanic.

Our Hero returns to the living!!!!

Blue Flame is cast, BLM passes it, DRG passes it, AST passes it, DRK stands there...menacingly. AST on FULL MELTDOWN runs to something to pass it to, and uses <Rescue> on our Hero, but our Hero instantly hits <Plunge> to be at the boss!

<Insert aggro sound here>

[Escalon]

BLM is crying, AST is crying, DRG is crying. DRK is dead.
AST Had enough. Puts every heal on BLM and focus heals me. And we finish it like that.

AST is done with life, BLM is paranoid about sounds and DRG brain is still fried from what he just saw.

DRK types GG in chat.

[Nanchi]

Holy damn what a ride. Did no one try to talk to the DRK or did it fall on deaf ears because seriously, a level 80 dungeon and you have no clue how to keep aggro?

[Escalon]

Holy damn what a ride. Did no one try to talk to the DRK or did it fall on deaf ears because seriously, a level 80 dungeon and you have no clue how to keep aggro?

I mean, we were in full on panic mode most of the time and we did not really knew what's going on, between trying to survive, off tanking, and just the chaos and its not like he was waiting for us, he was just rushing.

[Hatfright]

I'm feeling a second hand embarrassment with that DRK. ._.

[Rein_eon_Osborne]

I have one, but its super long. So I will post it split on 3 parts.

You can edit the first post to bypass the odd text limitation.

GrAnD cHaOs

What sort of abomination that I just read...... I just can't---

Do you... do you need a hug...?

[Tyssyn]

BLM is crying, AST is crying, DRG is crying. DRK is dead.
AST Had enough. Puts every heal on BLM and focus heals me. And we finish it like that.

AST is done with life, BLM is paranoid about sounds and DRG brain is still fried from what he just saw.

DRK types GG in chat.

While OMG that was a horrible time, your story telling was masterful! I applaud loudly through my giggle fits at the way you told your story. Thank you!

[Kaoru_Nagisa]

I really shouldn't be cackling at that story, because god knows that must have been a hella frustrating run for everyone involved - especially you and the AST - but... god you do humor so well. I'm sorry for laughing at your misery, but thank you for the brevity this evening while I'm dealing with shoulder pain. My stomach hurting from cackling so much makes the pain a bit less noticeable. QvQ

[Eien713]

Nightmarish Grand Cosmos run

Dear lord. I'd have stopped and tried to talk to the DRK after the first couple of pulls and would've kicked him if he didn't respond and/or kept up his abysmal performance. No one should have to put up with such a flagrant level of mediocrity. The DRK needs to get their sh!t together. Thanks for the story, though :P

[Michieltjuhh]

Spamming dungeons with a friend while leveling jobs (me on DRG, friend on DRK). The quality of players obviously fluctuates but it's generally fine. But this one Bardam's Mettle...

Our healer is a mentor white mage. This is instantly a red flag, as mentors are usually on the lower end of the spectrum. This guy started off the first pack by spamming Cure when needed and otherwise just standing still waiting for damage to happen. This didn't stop. At all. He didn't press damage buttons except Aero on bosses. He didn't use a single Stone, Holy, Lily or even Assize/Benison/Tetra. Told him halfway, and I quote: "Might want to keybind holy and assize mate ". The friendliest way possible to tell him that he's literally not using half his abilities. Radio silence. Nothing. I'd be impressed if he did more damage than Limit Break and his healing was rubbish regardless because Cure is a meme. At least he dodged stuff fwiw.

Honestly, I dread getting mentors in my runs. They give FF14 veterans a horrible name. Why are they even allowed to don the crown (pun intended) of someone who gives advice when they ignore advice themselves?