Retainer Ad-Venture Contest (EU) - Entry Thread

[Gorkem_Aus]

Let me tell you my story, as a caution to all you retainers. It was just like any other day when the adventurer called in to send me for a venture. I took it as an opportunity to get away from the market; selling rubber never was something I enjoyed. I always liked ventures- traveling through the beauties and the beasts of Eorzea.

That day I had decided to travel to Limsa Lominsa, when I stumbled upon the tribe of Kobold. I was always intrigued by beastman cultures, so I concealed my presence and observed them. It was at that moment when I saw the horrific scene. The Kobolds were dying their clothes brown. Such disgusting choice of color, I just couldn't understand. Have they no sense of fashion? At that point, something came over me and I felt like that day would be more than a simple venture: it would be an ad-venture.

I had to do something about this monstrosity. I needed to distract them and take away that dye. I dressed up a log that I was planning to take to the adventurer to look like a threatening lowly adventurer. I than threw the “adventurer” towards them, aiming at one of their head to make it look like they were being attacked. As they were merrily disintegrating the “adventurer”, which I did feel somewhat sorry for, I took away the brown Kobold dye and ran away as quickly as I could.

After I was at a safe distance, I let out a cheer of joy... only to realize that I had completely forgotten about my venture! I was panicking, desperately trying to think about what I could take back to the adventurer. Then, an idea came to mind. I would give this dye to the adventurer, and some change I found on the roads, and that will be the end of it. He will not use the dye, obviously, but he can’t refuse it as well. Two birds with one stone... or so I though.

The adventurer was thrilled to get the dye and before I knew it, he was dying his clothes with that hideous dye and had a huge smug on his face. I was in utter awe and couldn’t believe what was happening. I couldn’t stop him as well – I was paralyzed with shock. And so my fellow retainers, that's why you should never give the adventurers unbearably ugly dye. They WILL use it. Just give them some leaves and pocket change, that's what I do now. They can not refuse to take it.

Character name: Gorkem Aus
World: Unicorn
Prize: Scarf of wondrous wit

[Alleo]

Alleo the fishing Roegadyn retainer found catching fish all day long really boring, even though her masters eyes always lit up with tears of happiness after she brought back another Malm Kelp. This time she was really proud of herself after she got this strange stone-like thing that her master calls materia. It looked so pretty. She got it while she was trying to catch another nice fish for her master. A adventurer was standing near her fighting some monsters. Suddenly he began to undress his trouser which was quite a shock for her. Believing that he was some kind of pervert she took a stone and threw it at him. At the same time a strange thing happened and instead of the trouser there was that materia. He might have been surprised too about this or maybe he was a really bad adventurer but the stone that she threw, hit him in the head and he was knocked out. The materia rolled away from him. Alleo thought that if she would catch it with her fishing pole it would be hers so she did that. Since she had still some time left she went to the coast and relaxed on the beach where she saw other retainers trying to catch some fish too.

After giving her master the materia she thought to herself that maybe next time she might try to catch the furniture of the neighbors that are barely even visiting their houses. It's not like they need them. Maybe she even might be able to get that one roof she liked. That's the kind of fishing she loves.

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Character: Light Khah
World: Moogle
Price: Bluebird Earring

[OllieWoods]

I hope it still counts, i loved it ^^

[Tarmika]

Another rainy day in Gridania. Clouds are heavy and so dark that it is seems Odin himself is riding above them and his horse's mane is darkening the sky in its waving. Lhei looked up to the sky, breathed in cold fresh air and stepped out of the house just to meet her retainer - and a good friend - Rakiki. The little Lalafell was already there, hiding from the rain under a small tree in the garden.

As Lhei approached her Rakiki smiled happily, bowed and pointed to a big package standing beside her twice the Lalafell's height.

"Look what I brought you!"

The rain was getting heavier and Lhei's tail was already wet. She took of the packaging paper and it took all her patience and self-control not to show how angry and disappointed she was.

"Rakiki, dear... A window?"

"I made it myself!!!" - the girl was so proud and happy that Lhei couldn't be angry at her.

"But... ah... I don't have a house, Rakiki! Where would I place that window? I've got a room at our company's house but it's an inside room, there are no windows there. "

"Oh..." - now she looked so upset and broken that Lhei wanted to comfort her, say that they could sell this window for money and buy Rakiki a new dress.
But the moment she opened her mouth they heard a man running and shouting towards them. In a second the man stepped out of the rainy mist and showed himself. To Lhei's greatest surprise the man was no one but Beatin, the chief carpenter of all Eorzea.

"Oh Lhei! I see you've already met her!"

"Beatin? Met who?!"

"Our new star of course!" - he pointed at Rakiki.

"What?!" - the girls cried.

"Look at that window! When I saw her working at our guild quarters I thought it was yet another novice, but then I saw what she did! It's a perfection! Look at those little features, the way the lumber was made and... bah! No need for words, you see it yourself! A star!"

"But.. ugh... Beatin, I thought I was the best carpenter! You told me so!" - cried Lhei as Beatin was taking Rakiki away into the rain.

"Hahaha, you're just a sapling comparing to mistress Rakiki!" - and they disappeared in the rainy mist leaving Lhei wet, cold and shocked. And friendless.
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Character: Lhei Kholia
World: Lich
Prize: Mandragora Choker

[Gwion]

Limsa Lominsa Lower Decks, East Hawkers' Alley

During the night, some posters have been affixed on the walls aside the marketboards.

This is what's written on them.

WARNING

We've been warned that it's common use for the Adventurers to manipulate, use, eat and sell much of the material their own Retainers bring them back from those 1-day long missions and errands that we like to call “Quick Ventures”.

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM DOING THAT.

Differently from other ventures, where retainers get to travel and to work for several days abroad (usually for a period that goes past the two weeks), these errands usually have DUSTBINS and GARBAGE PILES as their final destination.
That is the main reason why many obsolete weapons, other than many other kind of trash or even VERMINS inhabiting the filth are what's usually brought back home.

We apologize for the inconvenience. Rest assured we're trying to resolve the issue right now, even though the Retainer Syndicate is debating on “how are Retainers supposed to bring back quality stuff in such a short amount of time?” and similar topics.

So, refrain from using stuff brought back through quick ventures... or at least, rinse it twice.

Frydwyb,
Limsa Lominsa Retainer Vocate


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Character: Gwion Meiklejohn
World: Phoenix
Prize: Mandragora Choker

[Viuiji]

Ding Ding
Kyat’a sighed, she was only 10 minutes into a venture and already he was summoning her. Hmm, maybe the Grilled Trout I brought him last time wasn’t such a great idea.

“You know I’ve not finished the venture yet, rrright?” She knew she was being rude, but seriously, who summons their retainer after 10 minutes?

“I just wanted to check something” V’iuji said, and started riffling through her carry bags. He grabbed the Grilled Trout, looked at it in disgust, gave her a questioning look and discarded it right then and there. “This time Kyat’a, I want something that is actually useful, you realise that I can’t keep eating fish like this? The last 10 ventures have all resulted in fish! I’m starting to think that there may be someone more qualified for this job..”

Kyat’a looked at him in shock, she knew that she had been lazy the last few times, but when you’re a Thaumaturge and can just use thunder on the water, catching fish is easy. “I told you I’d take care of it, so stop worrying.” She replied and went back to her duties.

Kyat’a was furious as she left V’iuji. He wants something useful does he? He wants something valuable does he? Fine! She thought, I’ll get him something useful, just not useful to him.

As she walked through the streets of Mist she passed by a rather rundown looking cottage, it looked like it had been abandoned for quite some time., but it was still standing. Kyat’a looked inside and saw another one of V’iuji’s retainers putting a large candelabra in his carry pack. Now what was he doing in there? “N’tuami!” Kyat’a called out “what the hell are you doing!?”

N’tuami looked around in surprise “Kyat’a! How are you! You won’t believe it! This place is abandoned!” N’tuami gave Kyat’a a big grin and showed her the candelabra in his pack. “A few of the other retainers told me about it. Seems some poor old soul couldn’t keep up on the repayments and hasn’t been seen ‘round here for some time! It’s a goldmine!” Kyat’a looked around and sure enough, could see signs of where a plant used to be, or where a wall should be.

“hmm” Kyat’a thought out loud “So, we can just take stuff..?” “Sure!” N’tuami” replied, “I’ve been taking stuff from here the last 4 days for V’iuji. I started small at first, but took him a wall yesterday!” N’tuami laughed with delight “He was so happy he had me put it up for sale straight away!”

Kyat’a smiled to herself, she sent N’tuami to one corner of the room and stood in the other corner. Using her mage skills she froze the entire roof, lifted it and started walking away, back to V’iuji.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Ntuami shouted at her. “He wants something useful” Kyat’a replied “What’s more useful than a roof?” Kyat’a smiled to herself “Just not useful to him”

Ding Ding

Character: V'iuji Za'xary
World: Tonberry
Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

[SolisOccasus]

The Coeurl seemed to give up its assault and jump back onto all fours, before making a desperate charge at Haerstyrm, galloping towards him and leaping, jaw opening wide to bite into him. The Roegadyn waited patiently until at the last moment he crouched and flicked his lance up, catching the beast in the stomach with the blunt end and lifting it off the ground and over the heads of the group. He called out as he stuck.

“Charlie! Ye got incoming!”

Charles stepped back out of position as the Coeurl twisted itself back around in midair, reaching out its claws to try to claim a victim despite its already failed attack. The man gave a wry smile as it approached then flicked his sword up in a quick slash, dragging sparks as it scraped along the stone floor. The beast howled out in pain and crashed into the wall. It picked itself up, limping slightly as it crawled back onto all fours, raising its head to give a loud howl of rage which echoed through the dungeon.

Silvaire breathed a sigh of relief and cast a glance over at the woman on the rocky outcrop of a throne, who scowled at him, a look of disappointment on her face. The Elezen responded with his own glare and turned back to focus on the Coeurl. It had begun to patrol around the group again, much more wary about attacking again. them as they shifted around, holding their ground. The beast’s whiskers and tail flicked, and Silvaire knew who it was going for. He hadn’t worked it out fast enough though, too slow to intercept the creature as it charged recklessly at Caitlyn.

What the Coeurl probably hadn’t anticipated was the bolt of scorching fire that struck at its chest, causing it to fall onto its side and skid limply along the dungeon floor. It stopped motionless at Caitlyn’s feet, the Hyur still holding her thaumaturge’s sceptre out, pointing at where the Coeurl had once been. Everyone seemed to relax, their fight over. The Highlander who had been watching stood up, clapping slowly, while the group sheathed their weapons with a smile on each of their faces.

“A fine performance indeed; yet you did not come to this trial for praise alone, I know this. Which of you will accept your champion’s prize?”

Silvaire stepped forward, adjusting his scabbard. “I will.”
The woman held her hand out, the prize in her palm.

Silvaire gave a blank look. “Sorry…this is-”

“Your prize, yes. Now take it and leave.”

The Elezen thought to protest, but remembered how little time he had left before he needed to return. He held his hand out, taking the slightly wet Rainbow Trout.

Venture complete. Now he had to explain to the others why he was giving his - or rather - their prize to a woman they didn’t know. All for a silver coin.

He hoped it would pay for a round of drinks.

Character: Ludivine Goultard
World: Balmung
Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

[moodo]

Character name: Locrian Mode
World name: Ragnarok
Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

--

The Song

5th Sun, 2nd Astral

The Twelve's blessings are with me, for I have been hired as what they call a ”retainer”. I am not entirely sure what this entails, but I've seen these retainers bumbling about in the cities and in the wilderness performing petty tasks. Seems simple enough, and I need the coin -- I will be satisfied as long as it doesn't get in the way of my mission.

9th Sun, 2nd Astral

Retainer work appears to be but mindless busywork, but it allows me to blend and walk amongst the commonfolk as equals. Ah, the facade of normalcy, a guise most effective! I get to travel around the world and see people, and truth be told, it's all quite exciting; there is so much beauty in the world! It's as if the whole world was my muse; so many ideas, so many people to save! As luck would have it, the everflowing sang to me once again, and the songs it sang were of someone in need of salvation. I can only hope I will do the songs justice.

18th Sun, 2nd Astral

The songs have been satisfied, and the precious gift of salvation bestowed to yet another. To have been allowed to be the instrument of salvation; my heart races of delight and eyes tear of profound emotion. It's not recognition or wealth I seek, no -- I only want to do the right thing, I want to help. I mustn't be stopped until my work is done, for how could they understand it, its importance? They have only two eyes, and two ears. They may not understand, but I'm sure they will learn to appreciate.

11th Sun, 2nd Umbral

Lately I've been sent fishing. It's relaxing and nostalgic no doubt, but leaving the bustle of a big city behind makes it quite obvious that I have not heard the song in a while. There is only silence. Is this a good thing? Is my work done? I'm ready to carry out your will, I'm ready. Please let me hear your song once again.

16th Sun, 2nd Umbral

I need to find a new employer. The sanguine sang to me again, but this time, it insisted, it demanded, it left me with no choice. Regardless of any attachment I may have built during this time, I need not weep though, for I have saved them. What is that, if not the ultimate expression of friendship?

[Velvet-Sky]

Character name: Yuna' Spira
World name: Shiva
Prize: Mandragora Choker
(This is the 500 word entry)

-Ul’dah Steps of Thal-

Yuna’ sighed as her retainer Angelina brought back a clam. Yuna scoled her retainer. Angelina apologised but Yuna’ held up her hand to silence the retainer.

“You have one last chance or you’re fired.” Yuna’ said as she assigned ventures before leaving.

Angelina went through her various options to keep her job when a sound broke her concentration.

“Meow”

Angelina looked over to the source of the noise to where she found an overweight cat. The fat cat was lying down. The poor thing looked like it could hardly move with its weight and hungry too. Angelina walked over to the poor unfortunate cat and petted it.

“Meow…”

“Hold on kitty, I’ve got just the thing for you” Angelina said with a smile on her face while she fished through her inventory for a fish that Yuna’ had rejected the other day.

Angelina fed the cat the fish and smiled as the cat started purring. She said goodbye and set off for North Thanalan. Yuna’ was looking for Basilisk eggs.

-North Thanalan-

Angelina was tired and battle worn, but had got a high quality Basilisk egg. What happened next was all blur for Angelina but she was chasing the cat that had stolen their egg.

“AFTER THAT DAMN CAT!” Angelina shouted.

Angelina chased the creature throughout North Thanalan. They found the egg near some train tracks and the cat was nowhere to be seen. The carbuncle was delighted, she hoped it was eaten by a monster.

“Meow”

Angelina was annoyed now, she found it sitting on top of rock formation, an area out of her range and harm’s way. This cat had more than nine lives.

Something had suddenly caught Angelina’s view out of the corner of her eye. The carbuncle was scared. She hesitantly turned to see what was behind them.

“GORGIMERA!!!!” Angelina screamed.

-Ul’dah Steps of Thal-

“Has anyone seen Angelina?” Yuna’ asked with concern.

“I’M HERE!!” a hoarse, angry voice roared.

Angelina staggered towards Yuna’. Angelina had needles sticking out of her gear, her hair was frizzy as if she’d been electrocuted and shoes and gloves had what looked like ice frozen onto them. Angelina’s poor carbuncle Madison had a rather large bump on its head, her fur was singed and her poor tail was black.

“What happened?!” Yuna’ asked.

“THAT HAPPENED!!!” Angelina shouted pointing at the fat cat purring happily behind them.

Angelina relayed the events of what occurred while Stiles worked his healing magic on the two battle worn and bruised pair.

“So what you’re trying to tell me is that you went quite literally to hell and back just get me a cat?” Yuna’ asked petting the evil creature. Angelina was about to inform her of the truth when,

“OH MY TWELVE! THIS IS LIKE THE BEST PRESENT EVER!!! I LOVE IT!!!” Yuna’ cheered.

“You’ve earned yourself a few days off. Come on kitty lets go show you off” Yuna’ said taking the cat.

[AcediaRose]

Name: Acedia Rose
World: Lich
Reward: Ahriman Choker

A tale of fish and moogles.
Lanka was a noble retainer of the miqo'te race, she and her sister Ma'Hanah had spent many a day doing odd jobs to get by and now they had been chosen as Retainers for Acedia Rose. He had sent the on odd jobs every now and then and even trained Lanka in the art of the lancer as he had been. For so long she had wanted to go on a venture and finally she had been told to. "Go forth and bring me the spoils of battle Lanka, Make me proud." Were the words of Acedia she hold dear as she had set off into the world for the first time. So many sights and sounds new to her, seeing other adventurers off hunting and gathering she was so excited. However in her excitement she had wasted much of her time she had been given and in a panic she grabbed the nearest item she could and returned to her master.

Upon her arrival home she handed her prize to Acedia with a meek smile. He sighed, "A good first adventure, however i was expecting more than a herring Lanka." He told her.

Lanka's ears fell flat she had failed him, the next venture she was given she did her best but sadly all she found was more fish, time and time again until Acedia stop sending her out.

Many weeks past and no ventures but one day upon her masters arrival he handed her a token and said once again, "Go and bring me the spoils of battle!". With renewed fire in her heart Lanka went out, much time passed and as the time ticked by she had found naught. "No i won't fail him again!" Lanka had heard rumours of a powerful being in the twelveswood and set out to find it. Upon her arrival she found Good King Moggle Mog, raising her spear she engaged in combat with. With her masters words rining in her ears she defeated him sending him back to the aether and claiming a whisker as a prize.

She returned hurriedly to her master and handed him her trophy. "My dear this is amazing, I am so proud of you!" Acedia said as he embraced her in a hug. Lanka smiled and from that day on vowed to never return with fish again!