Retainer Ad-Venture Contest (EU) - Entry Thread

[Eoeo]

[Once upon a time, fulfilling the orders of the master...]
"Hey look! There's the enemy I'm looking for ! What ? It can not be, a horde of retainers like me go for it! It must be mine, I need that and only that enemy, can not be another! "
[Some seconds later]
"Oh, well... "
[Waiting for the respawn]
"And that's why I hate it when the master does not give me the Filed or Quick Exploration. "

--------------------

Character: Eowyn Loire
World: Moogle
Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

[yazpanda]

Ivoryrose, or Ivy for short, was finally ready to take on tougher 18 hour mining ventures. She took her pay, politely said her farewells, and wandered off in deep thought towards Western Thanalan.

A few weeks ago Ivy had heard whispers at the Miners’ Guild about a cart which magically followed its owner. However, as she was only there to purchase some ore rather than gather it for that particular venture, she didn’t stick around long enough to hear more. But now the time had come to seek out the truth for herself, and she believed it was hidden in the Copperbell Mines.

With this cart Ivy planned to outshine her fellow retainers who had brought Yazi back useless things like overweight cats and tiny yetis, but which she for some reason adored. Ivy instead wanted to acquire mountains of precious ore, which in her eyes were far more valuable, especially in gil!

“Argh! Curse the Tw-“

Ivy wasn’t paying attention, so caught up with gil signs for eyes, she’d literally stumbled into the mines. But before she could gather her bearings she saw movement ahead. She quickly jumped to her feet and hid behind the nearest boulder, peeking around the side for a better look.

In the distance was a light, casting several moving shadows. There were too many to determine individual shapes, but they all seemed very short.

“Lalafells, perhaps? They couldn’t be Hyur children, those rumours were debunked, right? Or… No, please don’t be spriggans!”

As these thoughts rushed through her mind, her eyes caught a glint. It took her a moment to register what she was seeing, but there it was, a cart moving of its own accord and without rails! It was another moment before she realised just how small it was.

“Surely the light is playing tricks with my eyes? Why, that’s practically miniature!”

She must have said that last part too loudly because suddenly she heard rustling and grumbles coming towards her. Without another thought or glance towards the approaching silhouettes, she ran as fast as she could towards the cart, grabbed it, ran back out of the mines and hid behind the beams of the entrance. And then there wasn’t another sound, from her or the miners, for what felt like an age.

When she thought it was safe, she quickly set back to Ul’dah. Although there was still a few hours left before she expected to be summoned, Ivy was exhausted and had lost a lot of motivation from the disappointment of such a small cart, so decided to rent a room at The Hourglass for the remainder of the night.

When the inevitable ring of the summoning bell came, Ivy put on her best smile and decided to just hand over the miniature minecart so she didn’t appear empty handed. To her surprise and relief, her employer loved it.

As Ivy departed on her next venture, she spotted Yazi running in circles, laughing joyfully as the cart followed behind her.



Words: 500

Character Name: Yazi Fairhammer
World: Cerberus
Prize Choice: Ahriman Choker

[Baeroth]

After receiving her glimmering venture coin, Olivestra decided enough was enough. She didn't want to spend another hour scouting Thanalan to only come back with a rusty spear, she wanted to earn her venture.
She sat down on the warm pathway of The Goblet, devised a plan and disembarked to Zahar'ak! With Grimoire in one hand and a charged Ruin in the other, she made quick work of the guards at the gate and began her trail of righteous fury throughout the complex. No matter whether the onslaught came at her through flame, spear or fist, she successfully smote the accursed Amalj’aa and fought her way to the heart of their hearth, the Bowl of Embers.
There, she bore witness to a truly frightful sight to behold; the rebirth of a Primal. Looking on with awe and sadness, she saw the tempered lay down their lives as sacrifice to call forth the mighty Ifrit. Emerging from a firey cocoon, he looked around for the danger to his kin that had been the reason for being pulled from the void, and laid eyes on one rather petrified Hyur.
Knowing her only options were to fight or flee, she wouldn’t let the monstrosity before her make her quest a wasted one. She chose to fight with all she had, and called forth from the aether her trusty carbuncle to stand by her side. As quick as a flash, Ifrit darted toward her, reaching out with his claws, like talons preparing to tear through their meaty prey. She sent her carbuncle to intercept while bombarding the primal with curses and poisons to fog its mind and damage its body. The carbuncle defended her as best it could, but after a swift slice by the peccable primal, it fell to the floor and faded back into the aether. Saddened and angered by the loss of her companion, Olivestra unleashed a fury unknown to even Ifrit, and began casting a spell that would obliterate the primal once and for all.
She could feel the heat of her surroundings as she attempted to concentrate, the hot stones on the back of her legs, burning away at her skin. But she wasn’t touching any stones, or so she thought. She blinked, she stretched and she realised that off, outside of The Goblet from which she decided to ‘plan’ her venture, albeit while asleep, her master was requesting the results of her heroic escapade.
Realising the only thing she had manage to accumulate in the past 59 minutes was sunburn and drool, she ran to the nearest vendor and purchased all she could afford with the gil she had. No matter how she turned her head, the jellyfish cnida would never glisten the way a flame imbued greatsword would.

Shyly handing over her seemingly pitiful prize, she got exactly what she expected, a warm pat on the head, another shiny venture coin and a request that she at least tries to, if possible, not fall asleep this time.



Character Name: Baeroth Foehammer
Server: Cerberus
Item: Ahriman Choker

[Evilkitten]

The Tale of Evilkitten

Evilkitten, who was sitting quietly on the beach, was suddenly whistled away to come to her master, Evil. She was asked politely if she could go get her that shiny pastel pink dye she had been dying to get for her new dress.

What Evil didn’t know was how hard Evilkitten tried, even as a fisher, how it was almost impossible to obtain these dyes. Evilkitten, nevertheless, set off because she wanted to keep Evil happy.

So off she went through the torturous land and stormy weathers towards to the distance lands where only Retainers can go. She approach a village where she knew dyes were sold and notice that it sold the pastel pink dye, she felt relived as she knew it would make master happy. Yet there was a problem, a very sad problem, she had forgot to bring along payment for the dye.

She realized, however, that she could get other means of payment and through specialize training of fishing she had received she decided to go fishing. Thankfully she had her special goblin jig with her. The one in which she named ‘gobbie’ as it was her lucky tackle, the one she carried with her everywhere.

To briskly went towards the river but unfortunately it was stormy and she knew it would disturb the fish below. So she sat and she waited for the storm to pass whilst feeling very cold. As she waited, she thought about the huge smile which would be on master’s face when she got that pastel pink dye.

After what felt like years, the storm finally passed and so began the long wait. She must have seen that goblin jig bob up and down a few dozen times only to receive hundreds of mudskippers. Then it happens, the hugest, the strongest tug ever. She stood up, she pulled back hard on the fishing line. She pulled and she pulled, she reeled that line in like it was life or death and finally she got the best fish ever.

She looked at it in glee, knowing it was worth the gil for that pastel pink dye and she skipped so happily back to the village. Then it happened, her heart dropped and she felt the whole world crumble around her. The pastel pink dye, she found hours before and know she went through every to get had been sold. She didn’t know what to do with herself as there was only one thing left in the market to buy.

With a heavy heart she bought it and made her way back to Evil knowing full well she wouldn’t be happy. As she heard her final whistle call on master she made her way to the summoning bell. Then with a sad heart yet with a happy smile she proceed to give Evil her present, it was another olive seed.

Evil stormed off, very unhappy at Evilkitten at another unwanted present.

Evil will never know how sad Evilkitten was that day.

Character Name: Evil Kitten
Server: Cerberus
Item: Ahriman Choker

[Latrissa]

Clammed up

The aetherial chime of the summoning bell pierced the air, rousing Lucelle from her reverie with a panic. She, like other retainers, was required to respond to her Lady's summons at any hour with unfailing haste, and being employed under these conditions for an extended period had cultivated a nervous disposition.

"How may I be of service, my Lady?", she stammered dutifully.

Recently, Lucelle had begun to sense that she was making little progress with her attempts to open her Lady's eyes to the fascinating world of Eorzea's marine life. The rolled-eyes, increasingly thin veneer of smiles, and chuckles of other adventurers attested to the fact that Lucelle's earnest scholarly intentions were going largely unappreciated.

As she was assigned a short open-ended task, termed 'quick exploration', Lucelle mused briefly on the inconvenient terms of her employment that dictated she be paid in a currency only recognized by the Adventurers' Guild, namely ventures. The reason for the existence of these coins would forever remain a mystery to her. She once asked her Lady why she kept her ventures in stacks exactly 99 coins high, a question that was met only with a blank stare. She resolved not to ask again. Lucelle extended her hand expectantly.

She felt a brief surge of panic as her Lady's hand wavered in the air, as if hesitant to part with the coins. Ventures were designed partly as a way for retainers to further and test their abilities, but mostly as a way for Adventurers to enrich themselves; Adventurers were under no obligation to pay for them. Lucelle relaxed slightly as her Lady's hand finally continued forward, and with a forced smile she dropped the coins into the retainers hand.

"Of course, my Lady", she spoke in affirmation, clutching the pair of coins tightly in her palm as she turned to leave.

Anxious to preserve her now seemingly tenuous supply of coins, Lucelle realised she would have to convince her Lady of the value of her endeavours. There was only one solution. She would have to present her Lady with the finest example of Eorzea's aquatic denizens that could be obtained. An hour of fishing yielded the exquisite specimen she knew her Lady would appreciate.

"The venture is complete, my Lady" she declared triumphantly, proudly displaying a large and perfectly-formed Vongola Clam.

Character: Latrissa Saphon
World: Phoenix
Item: Ahriman Choker

[Malicewolf]

Ding ding!

Kirakunakiti’s ears flick up as she hears the summoning bell.

Looks like Fohl has another fishing adventure for me! Hope it’s not more white coral…

“Curiosity called the cat. What do you have for me today?”

Ugh, why do I always have to say the same darn thing every time I greet him?! That lame retainer school told me that repetition helps to make things simple for the master, but it’s soooo boring!

“So, can you get that for me?”

Huh?! Crap! I forgot to pay attention to what he wanted! NYAAA! I should ask him to repeat himself.

“I'll start now, if that's what you want.”

Why conscious! Why!!!

“Thanks Kiti, see ya in an hour!”

“When the master's away, the cat will play!”

What should I do?! Hmmm. Guess I’ll just go get more white coral. Life sure has changed since I became his retainer. I became a retainer thinking that I’d be some sort of adventurer, working side by side with me master. Instead, he made me a fisher… though… I don’t mind the fish! But most of the time he just asks me to get coral… bleh. I can’t eat coral…

Grugurgrpgurrghghghg. Kirakunakiti looked at her stomach.

Nyaaaa, now I’m hungry… Guess I’ll just eat some of the dozens of fish master left with me. I swear, for the man who defeated all of Eorze’s primal’s, he sure ain’t got the sharpest noggin’. He just leaves me with hundreds of fish to store! Does he think they stay fresh forever! I always have to go out and fish for new fresh ones!

Ding ding!

Surprise surprise! 20 minutes in and he’s callin’ me again. Probably gonna throw more fish my way.

“You know I've not finished the venture yet, rrright?”

”Sorry, but my inventory’s full! Let’s see… looks like no one’s bought what we put on the market yet, so please hold on to these in the meantime!”

Yup. More fish.

“Don’t forget about the venture I gave you! Cya!”

“I told you I'd take care of it, so stop worrying.”

Darn. He didn’t repeat what he wanted. Back to what I…

Ding ding!

Seriously…

“You know I've not finished the venture yet, RRRIGHT?!”

“Sorry Kiti! I forgot I need some money to put into our company! Now you can go back to your venture.”

Nyaaa! My money… Now I only have 25 minutes to get…. Uhhh, I still don’t know what I’m supposed to get. It’s probably more white coral. Should only need 10 minutes, then I’ll just sleep until he comes back.

25 minutes later.

Ding ding!

“I did my very best, just like I said.”

Lies

“Awesome, how many high quality bluebell salmon did you get?”

Uh oh. Did he say salmon!? Nyaa! Whatever, I’ll just give him some of what he left me to hold.

“Just 1 high quality? Oh well, hold on to this for me. Also, I think you should do a water exploration next.”

I hate water.

Character name: Fohl Hakuko
World name: Goblin
Scarf of Wondrous Wit

[Musicborn]

Piece of Cake

“I feel like cake,” announced bored Mateus. The crimson haired Summoner had spent the cold afternoon leaning back on the comfortable sofa of his room at «The Forgotten Knight».
“C—ake?”, Stacatto, Mateus’ Mi’qote very personal retainer, asked, bewildered at the whim.
“Pineapple!” blurted the Summoner.
Hastily, he ran to the kitchen, his companion after him. One by one, he reached for the ingredients of the Pineapple Ponzecake. A prickly pineapple. Maple Syrup. Sunset Wheat Flour. Night milk. Now, with a fire and water clusters at hand…
An explosion of steam fills throughout the kitchen. No signs of any cake.
“What? Something’s missing.”
Mateus turns then to the retainer asking:
“Stacatto! Find what’s missing.”
“What?! Master, are you absolutely mad?! It’s as cold as a diamond dust outside!”
“Pineapple.”

***

Stacatto sighs. Lost in Dravania, little does he know he has reached the Zenith.
“Master told me to blow this horn in case I get lost… I wonder if he’ll mind me bothering him…” – the Mi’qote shrugged. A soft melody rung, and for a while nothing happened…
…until a mighty white dragon roared down from the skies, land shaking upon his landing.
“Mortal! Why do you disturb my sleep?!”
Hiss and bristle.
“AHHHH! Ah…! I was merely looking for the missing ingredient for my master’s cake… I’ll just… be on my way! Goodbye, Mr. Dragon!”
“I am Hraesvelgr! Wyrm connoisseur of cake patisserie extraodinaire! I know what thou seek, Mortal.”
“…you do?”
“Yes. But first you must answer a riddle.”
“Bring it on.”
"Which is correct: "The yolk of the egg is white." or "The egg yolk is white."?"
“Excuse me, would you mind repeating that?”
“I said, "Which is correct: "The yolk of the egg is white." or "The egg yolk is white."?"
“What’s that?”
“Darn you, Mortal! I will repeat myself one more time! Which is right: “The yolk of the egg is yellow.” or---" Pause. “Damn. I gave out the answer.”
“HA! CAUGHT YOU! The yolk of an egg is yellow, not white! Your riddle sucks!” spotted the grinning Mi’qote.
That is when Hraesvelgr roars in an abyssal fury and the winds gather around him in a frenzy as Hraesvelgr turns into…
…a green chicken?
“Bawk, bawk!” it speaks before it leaves behind an egg. An Apkallu’s egg.
“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!” Paws up in the air with surprise! “This… this must be Master’s missing ingredient!”

***

Back home, trembling with chill, our intrepid retainer is thence returned to his Master. The Mi’qote holds his trophy on his Master’s sleepy face.
“I’m home,” Stacatto announced.
“What? Don’t tell me you’ve brought yet more junk…”
“No…” – the Mi’qote brings all the ingredients together and clasps once more the fire and water shards – “I’ve brought you cake.”
And all of a sudden, almost like magic, a wonderful, scrumptious, shining, caramel-coated Pineapple Ponzecake lies on his Master’s lap.
“CAKE!” Mateus enthusiastically shouted.
“That is right, Master. Cake...”
Stacatto sighed once more,
“I don’t get paid enough for this…”

Character name: Mateus Alexandrov
World Name: Cerberus
Item: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

[Minttu]

"I," says the retainer who goes by Jamesbastian, "was under the impression this was gonna be a fishing trip."

Water dripping down from the serpent towering above them keeps getting into his eyes. Or he has just burst into tears.

The leader of the expedition laughs. "Well, you ain't wrong."

Earlier today, Jamesbastian joined a group requesting help for some "sushi action". Nothing about this indicated anything out of ordinary. Even the ship's name was about eating something.

"I-is that an, umm. A rather sizable eel?" stutters Jamesbastian.

"Good one," the increasingly-obiously-not-a-fisher-kind-of-adventurer snickers. "Hear that, fishfaces?"

Agitated hissing echoes from the waves around the not fishing boat. But of course they are in sahagin territory. Naturally this behemoth here is Leviathan, what else!

Before Jamesbastian can protest his involvement in this mess, the beast slams its enormous tail rather unceremoniously against the already very shaky boat. The next breath Jamesbastian takes fills his mouth with water. His ears are plucked by the humming silence of the sea.

So this is it. The idea meeting your end for the sake of your master is certainly romantic, but this isn't the kind of fate becoming a retainer seemed to entail.

"Hey. Mind not being dead already?" a not-the-fisher-kind-of-voice demands from beyond Jamesbastian's closed lids.

Instead of a ferocious sea monster, what greets Jamesbastian is the face of the adventurer who recruited him on this lie of a venture. Behind her, Jamesbastian can make out the spinning shape of an aetheryte. He's in Limsa.

"Turns out the ninja was a surprisingly good diver," the adventurer muses.

Jamesbastian gazes at the sky. It's dusk already. Probably around the time of the deadline---

Oh no.

Jamesbastian springs up and sprints towards Hawkers' Alley.

He can see the Warrior of Light, hand on that dastardly bell already. Jamesbastian is on time, miraculously, but that hardly matters. The bell rings, and he isn't ready to drown the boss in items.

What's he gonna say? Explain how he survived swimming with Leviathan itself with nothing to show for it? Never.

No. This incident shall forever remain secret. But that means he has to produce something, now.

Jamesbastian pushes his hands into his pockets. There has to be something there. If he has to give the boss the keys to his apartment then so be it. Anything but coming back empty handed can be explained away.

Jamesbastian's fingers grab onto something. He hasn't an inkling of an idea what it could possibly be, but the boss's face is becoming curious and this situation needs to end now.

No time for hesitation. This is now officially what he risked his life for. The ultimate souvenir for the Warrior of Light.

Jamesbastian pushes his hand forward. He reveals his palm, holds his breath, and looks.

In his hand is a still twitching Lominsan Anchovy.

So. That did end up being a fishing trip after all.

1. Geccy Minttu
2. Odin
3. Ahriman Choker

[MaraZune]

"What do retainers get up to?" Mara Zune pondered as she watched her retainer Madaline slink off with two freshly minted ventures clasped in her hands...

Madaline rushed through the undergrowth, the wind blowing the ears of her Spriggan Cap against her back as she made her way through the farmlands of La Noscea. She had heard that one of the shards of Dalamud that had pierced its way into Hydaelyn was close by in Eastern La Noscea and that it still held remnants of Allagan technology. Not wanting to venture the dangers of the jungle and risk being devoured like a handful of lalafells by a Goobbue, Madaline decided to aim for Costa Del Sol; maybe there she could find a way to reach the coil.

The picturesque Costa Del Sol loomed into view. She had heard that Master Gegeruju, the owner was a selfish lalafell who cared for nothing other than money and women; but to get to the coil, she would need use of his ferry. Getting near him however would be tricky as he is only ever close to his dancers and seeking an audience with him would be tough without coin or a business proposal. Madaline sought another way; using her wit and her charm, she managed to get close to him by posing as a new dancer.

She intrigued Gegeruju with her pale skin and blue hair as he sat there captivated by her powerful dance. As she finished her routine, Gegeruju granted her passage, and she carried on toward her destination.

Upon landing at the ferry port on the other side, Madaline made her way along the sparse edges of the jungle and arrived at Castrum Occidens. Since the Warrior of Light's raid on the castrum and the coil itself, the patrols were limited, enabling Madaline to slip past with relative ease. The gaping maw that was the entrance to the shard lay before her eyes as she snuck through the final gateway, avoiding a couple of Garlean Vanguards patrolling outside.

"This is it." she thought, striding into the entrance with her bow drawn. The place still crackled with mysterious energy even though the machinery itself had been shut down, most likely caused by the corrupted crystals engulfing the shard. The floor was littered with the corpses of Allagan monstrosities with a few dragoon corpses here and there. If she was correct she would find the materials where Caduceus fell. There were a few creatures left but with a whiz from her bow they fell with ease, clearing the way to her prizes. Much to her dismay however, the silk was nowhere to be seen and the only leather was torn to bits with Allagan Silver pieces scattered across the ground.

Picking the silver pieces up, Madaline made her way home, using her ventures to buy a gift for her mistress as an apology, hoping Mara would understand.

"Wonder how it went..." thought Mara as she rang the bell. "Not another fish!"

Character: Mara Zune
World: Tonberry
Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

[Waughlin]

'Just the one today, Buscarron, I'm running behind,' the weary Lalafellin lancer sighed as she perched a leather satchel on the barstool next to her.
'Let me guess... more antelope horns? Mumuse, at this rate there'll not be a single stag left in the Shroud by the time yer through.' Buscarron's faux indignation quickly gave way to a wry smile at the appearance of his favourite barfly.
'You want to tell my boss that yourself? Besides, drowning my guilt's the only reason I stop by the Druthers these days. Gods know I don't come here for your ugly mug.' Mumuse chuckles to the grizzled proprietor as he sets a tankard of faerie apple cider before her. She eagerly clasps the cup, only to find Buscarron's hand still firmly wrapped around it.

'Mumuse, ye know how honoured I am to serve the Warrior of Light's foremost retainer, but we all have to pay our way and it's been two moons now.' Mumuse's nose wrinkles, but she nevertheless reaches into her pocket and produces a fistful of ventures, allowing them to skitter across the bar.
'You know, you're a lot less fun sober,' Mumuse laments as Buscarron makes a show of counting out his twenty-three owed ventures, beaming all the while. Once the tally is done he relinquishes the tankard.
'Aye, and I'm a lot less broke sober too. Anyhow, enough talk of debt and duty, how is yer trusty employer keeping?' At that, Mumuse drains half the tankard and sets it back down before her, drawing a deep and satisfying breath. She meets Buscarron's gaze and draws his eye to the satchel beside her.

'Well, he's still adamant his slapdash carpentry merits as much of his attention as slaying Primals. Can you believe he's more proud of the quality of his wood carvings than he is of killing a giant whale from atop a flying boulder?' Mumuse returns to her cider before continuing, enjoying Buscarron's undivided attention. 'All the while I've been out making the antelope an endangered species he's had Y'subri felling half the Shroud.'
'If I've told ye once,' Buscarron shrugs, 'I've told ye a thousand times, yer wasting yer time trying to understand the mind of a 'venturer, least of all the Warrior of Light. Ye've more chance of winning the Cactpot than ye have of making sense of what goes on in his head. So long as he's got you to make sure he doesn't trade his axe in fer an awl fer good, I can at least sleep a little easier at night.'

Around halfway through Buscarron's counsel, Mumuse had reached the bottom of her tankard and by the time he was through talking she had her satchel slung over her shoulder and was making for the alehouse's door. Before making her way out into the cool evening air, she turns to bid Buscarron farewell. 'If I'm so crucial to your beauty sleep, you might consider giving me a drink on the house from time to time.'
'I'm sure I could stretch to one o' me ciders fer free. How does this time tomorrow sound?'
'Sounds perfect. Of course that's assuming there are any antelope left this side of Amdapor by tomorrow,' Mumuse ruefully jokes as she begins she walk back to Gridania, heartened as always by her time at the Druthers.

Character: Waughlin J'arth
World: Coeurl
Choice: Ahriman Choker