Retainer Ad-Venture Contest (EU) - Entry Thread

[Eirwen]

And here's what he looks like.

[Lyrisath]

Character: Jacia Worldswalker
World: Balmung
Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

---

A Rogue's Reward

R'haajr had always loved doing business with goblins. Any shiny bauble would catch their attention, and every now and then they had something of value they'd stumbled across in ignorance.

Not so unlike taking on ventures - guaranteed pay for bringing back... more or less anything. Jacia had always done well by him, though, so he liked to do his best. Well, the best he could do without putting in too much effort, and the spoils of an afternoon jaunt to some sunny corner of La Noscea fit that bill nicely. Spoils which were currently shaping up to consist of a faintly interesting Allagan-looking lump sitting among a goblin trader's wares.

"Lootfix greets uplander! Sees uplander having lustyeyes for junk of Lootfix, yes? Lootfix makes busydeal!"

"Well, when you put it like that..." grinned R'haajr. "Behold!"

He turned out his pockets to reveal a motley assortment of trinkets, all odd shapes and pretty colours, including-

"Agh! Nononono!"

He moved to snatch back the glint of silver as it rolled, but the goblin had already laid eyes on it. Lootpix's eyes gleamed through his goggles at the precious treasure as it disappeared into R'haajr's closed fist.

"Aha! Lootpix is muchwanting that silvergleam!"

That 'silvergleam' happened to be R'haajr's pay - his Venture. If he traded this away, he'd have worked for free, and the only thing less appealing than working was not even getting paid for it. He clutched it to his chest and fiddled with it, giving a nervous laugh.

"This thing? You don't want this. It's-it's small and worthless and really not very shiny. Maybe some jinglyshine instead?"

"Pssssh! Lootfix makes trade for silvergleam, not for jinglyshine today, and for tongueflaps never! Lootpix is having the judgethink that uplander is wideheart uplander. Sadfeel it would be if Lootpix had judgethink of uplander as narrowheart, no?"

"Let's not be hasty," replied the miqo'te. "Only this is er, precious. To me. Sentimental value, really. Nothing special-"

"Shhhkoh! Ears of Lootfix will earcatch no more timewaste tongueflaps."

R'haajr sighed theatrically.

"Fine. But if I'm parting with this, you make it worth my while, got it? Seven hells, the things I do to stay employed..."

Lootpix beamed and excitedly indicated his whole range of trinketry.

"Uplander chooses! Anything that is making eyecatch of wideheart uplander!"

"Two things."

"Uplander asks two tradethings for one?!"

"Well, if you don't really want this..." said R'haajr airily, turning away.

"Psssshhh... shkoh. Lootfix agrees to busydeal of uplander. Uplander chooses two tradethings before mind of Lootfix changes!"

R'haajr plucked up both the Allagan piece and an ore-flecked rock, and flicked something small and silver in Lootfix's direction as he turned to leave.

"Pleasure making a busydeal with you!" called R'haajr over his shoulder.

He put his hand into his pocket where his Venture had been safely returned, and suppressed a laugh until he was out of sight.

There were worse ways to spend a shiny jacket button.

[Lyrisath]

And only now I realise I've written the gobbie's name two different ways. Ack! They should all say "Lootpix." Sorry. D:

[Neo-Dark]

This is the story of Joe.

Joe is your average retainer. Hard working, loyal, and serves his Warrior of Light diligently. With axe in hand he fights off all manners of beasts. From the lowly monsters around the city-states of Eorzea to the monstrous creations in Azys Lla, Joe can take them all on without trouble. He has explored far and wide. Yet, no matter where he goes, the instant his friend needs him, he’s there. Often with gifts from his journey to give to his trusted friend. His friend cherished all the items that Joe would return with. Using them for crafts, trying them out on a training dummy, or selling them at the market board.

With his skills at the pinnacle of what a marauder is capable of Joe would often head off on short, quick adventures. From doing odd jobs around towns for people for some food, to exploring the wilds, testing his mettle on all kinds of beasts, to just going for a fish in the ocean to pass the time, Joe wanted to try everything.

As he grew in confidence and gained more gear, he fought against beings thought of as gods by Beast Tribes, and legends of the Moogles, he grew in favour with all three grand companies who were willing to provide him with a bunch of their unique items, like floor tilings, and ceiling fans. Yet, even with all of his adventures, he was still overshadowed by his friend; The Warrior of Light.

He decided to try new things. Something his friend had mostly not done much of; The Wolves Den.

Out there, against other retainers, Joe grew further in his prowess, and defeated many a foe. Successful as he was, he soon found himself with an abundance of Wolf Marks. Having been so successful at something his friend was yet to conquer Joe proudly bought a few exclusive Wolf Mark items, including a Warwolf Bliaud of Healing, which he could not wait to give to his friend.

So Joe joyfully headed back to his friend, feeling quite pleased with himself, at least up until there was a thud on the back of his head, and all went dark.

A short while later Joe woke up, on his body a note; “Thanks for the top, My master will be pleased. - Neo.” This left Joe greatly upset.

-----------


Upon returning to the bell, the Warrior of Light called their retainer and over they came.

The retainer handed the Warrior of Light a new Warwolf Bliaud of Healing, happily saying “I've returned from my venture.”

To which the Warrior of Light promptly threw out the top.

-----------

On the way back to the bell, Joe was too upset to pay attention and accidentally tripped over tins of Jet Black Dye on his way. In joy at finding items most rare, he picked them up and returned to his friend who couldn't have been happier for the gift.

Thus ends the story of Joe, the Average retainer.

---// Story Ends Here, total above count; 500 Words, 2720 Characters. Checked with wordcounter (dot) net \\---

Character Name: Lilith Dark
World Name: Odin
Prize: Ahriman Choker

(BTW, my retainer in the story is Neo… who’s the one who returned with a Warwolf Bliaud of Healing. Which I’ve had at least once, and yes, promptly thrown it out. Joe however is just your average retainer who we all would like to have... cause he returns with Jet Black Dye.)

[Xaya]

---------------------
Advoco Yamixaya
Cactuar
Ahriman Choker
---------------------

My master tells me if i tell you what on my ventures my master might win a prize. I'll take that challenge, far be it from me to deny you i say.

As one of the many new Au'ra to arrive from across the sea, having spent many a day fishing on the voyage i had arrived and found myself in the employ of Master Advoco Yamixaya, I thought what a weird name and i read it as avocado yummy xaya at first thinking what does that mean, is it a question, but as i was given new gear to fish with work with i decided i will work as hard as i can.

After being payed with venture coins I embarked upon my first waterside exploration, i didn't really know this new region so i looked upon a map and thought Little Ala Mhigo, now that sounds like it will have the best fishing spots so off i went. little did i know the area was filled with sand as far as the eye could see.

After stumbling around in the desert i met a tribe of Amalj'aa, but there was also a Miqo'te girl with them. I must of been the first Au'ra they has seen as they accused me of being a demon and remarked that i bore some resemblance to a primal the called Ifirt. i don't know what this Ifirt fellow but i guess if he was female and an Au'ra then maybe i look something like him

Thankfully instead of being attacked they talked with me, i explained i was out fishing for my master Advoco. To my surprise they knew of her, she had apparently help them out as some point, what luck. they helped guide me safely out of the desert and just as we were about to part ways they gave me a gift, a fat little cat they had been taking care of and said i should gift this to my master. i secretly wanted to name it Loonh Gah after the girl i met that day but it was not for me to decide

needless to say that was the last time i will ever try to fish in the dunes, what an absurd idea

my master was happy to receive her new pet and send me off right away, another challenge but far be it from me to deny her.

Au'ra'ra

P.S. here is a picture to show you who i am

[Gavrenon]

Character name: Gavrenon Whitelock
World: Tonberry
Prize: Bluebird Earrings

Belle of the Hour

Annabelle, having only recently taken up fishing ventures for her mistress, Ms Whitelock, needed all the time to practice and improve. Being placed on a Waterside Exploration I Venture, this short tale chronicles her first day's attempt...

8:00AM
Ding ding "You couldn't have picked a more inconvenient time."
"Annabelle, how do these earrings look on me?" says Ms Whitelock, full of glee.
"Splendid, madam, now if you'll excuse me, the fish await..."

9:10AM
Ding ding "What is it now, madam?"
"Annabelle, I just bought these new sandals, don't they look divine?"
"Yes, they certainly do - now please, if you may be so kind to let get back to fishing."

10:32AM
Ding ding "For the love of Azeyma - I mean, is there aught amiss, Madam?"
"Want to play Triple Triad, Annabelle? I've become quite bored."
"Retainers are not authorised to play cards, madam."
"Oh bother, go return to your fishing then..."

4:50PM
Ding ding "Argh! My line tugged just as you - ahem, how may I help you?"
"Annabelle, my party is not filling up, I want to go into a dungeon!"
"It helps if you set the item level to below 200 for Copperbell Mines, madam."
"Hahaha, where would I be without you?"

8:20PM
Ding ding "Another fish lost, what is it now... madam?"
"I'm just letting you know I'm heading off to bed soon. Long day adventuring!"
"Sleep well, madam." Finally, I can venture forth for fish uninterrupted for a while...

1:42AM
Ding ding "It's the middle of the night! What are you ringing me for now? I'm sharpening my knife..." Annabelle was nearing the end of her rope!
"I had a fright! Then I realised: I forgot to set the alarm!"
"But you don't have an alarm, madam."
"Well, Annabelle, why did you think I had this bell installed for!? It's not just to ring you, it's my alarm bell too! I named you Annabelle for a reason, you know. Fishing's just to keep you occupied till you wake me up!"

At this point, Annabelle gave up in protesting her incorrigible mistress, too embarrassed at her mistress' reason for naming her so and promised to ring the bell when the sun rose. As long as she could just stop the ringing for a bit longer... Annabelle retired to her quarters in Ms. Whitelock's home. She'll just have to settle for the pittance of experience gained. Well, that's one more answer for why retainers don't catch anything after a Waterside Exploration I Venture!

Ding ding Please ring responsibly!

[Akataras]

Character name: Vincent Valourheart
World name: Balmung (I reside in the UK, I just play on a different Data Center)
Choice of Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit
- - - - - -



- - - - - -
The thief's hand wasn't long out of the nobleman's pocket with its prize before the alarm was raised. He might have wondered what made him so obvious a pickpocket, if not for the hooded scarf and goggles concealing his face, worn indoors, in broad daylight.

Fortunately, Erithae's feet were as swift as his reflexes, and the young Miqo'te found himself enjoying a merry sprint through the alleyways of Ul'Dah. The Brass Blades chasing him however, were far less happy about the situation, and much less happy to have tripped over the piece of rubble that Erithae had so deftly skipped over mere moments ago, and not thought to point out to them, for fear of ruining the surprise.

It was that same generosity that left his pursuers in the dust. Outpacing them however was not enough for the flighty footpad, and as he turned into an alley that should have been a dead end, he nimbly hopped his way up a stack of crates and scrambled up the wall onto the roof.

His stride continued over the rooftops, and he clambered quickly amidst the buildings of Ul'Dah, moving higher up in the city with each passing moment. When he reached a spot high enough in the city skyline, he stopped to admire the view below, savouring his victory.

He sat there for a time, content and gazing at the people below, before reaching into his pockets and pulling out a pair of emerald earrings, watching them shimmer in the sunlight as they dangled in front of his face.

'You must be very expensive to cause such a fuss.' Erithae thought, his attention drawn away from his prize to the sky above as a small airship passed overhead. 'That should be him.' He mused, and rose to his feet, pocketing the jewellery.

He stretched and let out a yawn, and took one last look at the city from on high. Erithae then began his descent, making the trip down look effortless as he hopped between rooftops as if each one was a mere step on a staircase. Once he was on the ground again, he removed his hood and goggles, and with a swish of his tail, sauntered into the crowded Ul'Dah streets.

He made his way to the Sapphire Avenue Exchange and approached his master, who stood beside the Summoning Bell, greeting them with an eager wave and by name.

"Vincent!" Erithae smiled, and showed him the spoils of his venture.
"Very shiny." Vincent stated upon seeing the earrings.
"A noble was just giving these away... when their back was turned." Erithae responded with sly smile.
"Business as usual?" Vincent asked.
"Business as usual." Erithae replied “Take from the rich, give to the poor, just like you taught me.”
"I believe I owe you a drink." Vincent grinned, ruffling Erithae's hair, and the two of them wandered to the tavern side by side.

With grins so smug, and matching mugs, the pair made a toast to “Honour among upright thieves.”

(Word Count: 500)
- - - - - -

[Mjuffsan]

The following is a reenactment based on a true story depicting the conversation spoken by the warrior of light and the internal thoughts of her retainer:



"Wow, I am so lucky! I get to be the Hero of Light's personal retainer! People dream of this position, and I finally made it my own. This is going to be so amazing I can barely contain myself. Oh, wait. I should probably listen to what she is saying. Come'on, pay attention brain! What is she saying?"

- All right, listen up. We don't have _much room_ for useless things, so bring me back _something good_ to decorate the living room with this time.

"She definitely said... 'We don't have mushroom'. I'm certain of it. She also mentioned to bring 'something good', which means she wants something good to eat. And mushrooms are edible, right? I see all these other retainers running around, fighting these scary monsters and sneaking into houses. I'm glad I don't have to do such chores. My mistress only wants me to bring her back a mushroom, hah!"

"Well lucky me again, here's one right here. A shriekshroom. And I didn't even have to ward off any monsters to get it! The mistress will be so proud. That didn't take very long, I guess I can just slack off for the remainder of the time, as she didn't want me to return within the hour."

* 59 minutes later *

"Oh why is she so upset? I hate it when she yells at me. Well, hate is such a strong word. I prefer loathe. Yes, I loathe it when she yells at me. I only did what you told me to do! Or... think what you told me to do... Who would have thought that a shriekshroom would make her scream?"

- OK, that was a _low_ performance but I will give you one more _chance_. I sincerely hope this mistake will not happen _another_ time. Even a spriggan could do _better_. If you do not increase your game I will have to find a better use for a retainer of your _quality_.

"She looks so sinister when she's mad. Every word is like a needle pushing further into... Oh noes, I did it again! I forgot to listen. Darn, stupid, stupid me! Err, let's see here. Ok, let's trace back here. She said something about 'low' and 'chance'. Maybe she thought my finding was just a chance occurrence? I think I heard the word 'another' at some point. She must want another shriekshroom, ofcourse! If I am not mistaken, she also said the words 'better' and 'quality'. If I put these words all together I can deduce that she wants me to find a high quality shriekshroom that is very rare! I'm a bloody genius when I think about it."



Epilogue:
After the second venture when the retainer returned with a shriekshroom HQ, the warrior of light to lost her mind and is now locked up in her house, stroking a mushroom plushie doll. The retainer forgot about her dream of working for the warrior of light and pursued a career at an aquarium, training gold fish.

[Tragoedia]

Character: Tragoedia Darkmoon
World: Mateus
Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit
----

Meet Miunilia. A Lalafel retainer.

Do you see those sparkly cute little innocent eyes?... yes?... so cute huh?

Well my friend dont say you haven't been warned.
This little cutesy is a hardcore kleptomaniac. Whatever she sees, she steals...
Theres no telling when she will do it, or how, or even what she will target . She Just Does It !!
Sealife, clothes, boots, jewelry.. anything serves the purpose..

Do you think Imperials are good on demolishing realms ? ... yes?
Well you haven't seen this little one in action for sure.
She can single-handedly, piece by piece, deconstruct any house, small or large, in a matter of hours. No wall is too big. No roof is too heavy. Furniture isn't safe either.

No wall stands in her way, or so it was .. She's evolved.. took fanciness in animal kidnap.
Ocasionally she brings cats and dogs.
She says she finds them. i dont believe her. The cats she brings appear way too well fed to be stray.. and the dogs have a certain air of nobility to be left on the streets on their own.
Kidnapping i say. Rare findings she states.

If you see her hide and pray she didnt see you.
You have been warned !

[Seagrot]

Another hour, another ring.

Leven had been returning from his hourly ventures with vortex rings for a few weeks now. It was unusual to get so many in a row but it was at least better than unappealing fish (EL OH EL, my retainer just gave me a 'chub'," Fen had laughed to her friends over the linkpearl).
---
Another hour, another battle.

With the weathered rod his mistress had given him, he dealt the final blow to the primal. Garuda screamed shrilly as she faded from the physical realm. As the cutting winds calmed and the treasure appeared before Leven, he desperately prayed to the Twelve. Please let this be it...
---
"Mistress, I have returned."

He dismounted from the horse and held out the vortex feather that had fallen from the primal as she had faded away.
Fen the Lalafell glanced at the pony briefly then her eyes widened as she saw what her retainer held. She jumped up and snatched the primal's remains from her Au Ra retainer's hands.
"Ohhh sweet thanks!" she exclaimed and turned her back on her retainer to use her linkpearl. ("Oh EM Gee, look what my retainer just bought back! 'Vortex Feather'. Easy one mil!") Leven waited until Fen had finished her boasting before giving her the news.

"Mistress, it is with a heavy heart that I must end my employ with you..." the retainer said.
"What?" Fun spun around to face him, her jaw slackened, her mouth agape.
"...as my wife demands a more lavish lifestyle and I can't afford to give it to her as a mere adventurer's retainer.
"You're married?" Fen spluttered. Leven reached up and stroked the pony's mane.
"Why yes, I met her on this job, I had been searching for my soul mate for so long..."
Fen stared at her (ex?) retainer then back to the glowing windy pony he had rode in on. The gil dropped. Au Ra, Xaela, traditional....OH.

"Uhhh so she'll be Mrs Goro then?" Fen said with a strained smile.

(Thanks SE for the Xaela lore )

Fen Weiss
Tonberry
Ahriman Choker