Retainer Ad-Venture Contest (EU) - Entry Thread

[Yukariko]

Name – Viola Yukari
world – Sargatanas
prize – Ahriman choker


Titan thumps his fists together, the Paladin readies their defenses, the battle is afoot.

I have to be cautious, first it's the tank, may as well take down the big one first, it wont take much, a simple misstep, may as well live up to the fact that most think I'm stupid. titan slams his fist on the ground, aiming at me, but I'm “out of position”, the paladin is hit, caught unawares they are knocked backwards and over the edge... Easy.

the warrior is quick to take up the mantle with a battle cry. Titan begins to increase the amount of attacks he directs to the warrior so healers have their work cut out, their attention is focused, allowing me to move more freely.

Next the bard, titan roars and the whole plinth begins to shake apart, as white beams of light emerge from the ground, it's a subtle shove, the others didn't see it but the bard felt it, they stagger, it's a slow realization but the ground vanishes from beneath them and they are gone.

Got to try and take out 2 at once, I glance at Titan, he obliges and both the black mage and the scholar find themselves cocooned in rock. Eos is frantically scratching at the rock and I run to her side to help but the warrior yells "no this one" pointing to the other, so I jump forward in an explosion of dragonfire... love my fake indecision... both rocks begin to glow with white light, as they explode the 2 trapped bodies fall to the floor, Eos lets out a scream and vanishes.

Titan slams his hands deep into the ground ripping the earth apart flipping it and the Warrior is dead with a critical hit. Raising his hand as if summoning forth something from below, the ground shimmers like liquid under each of us, I jump once again, pulling the white mage to safety. the monk also jumps clear, least they think so. Titan is surprisingly quick, he sends out another shockwave in the monk's direction, they can't dodge this one.

Then Silence...

The white mage looks at me puzzled “why has the fight stopped?” I remove my helmet. they can see the venom, the malice in my eyes, I intended this to happen.

Their expression changes as they can feel the life draining from them as I push my lance deep into their stomach. "why?" they gasp, “for my Viola” I say quietly, and with a jolt I twist the blade and they fall to the floor.

Titan is uncontrollable, beating his chests and thumping the ground like a massive rocky silver-back Gorilla displaying his strength.

“For your Viola” he booms and a pair of earrings land in my hand, I clench my fist and smirk a subtle nod of acknowledgement before jumping backwards.

The hour is up, time to return from my venture.

[Ergy]

Ah, Baderon, I need another pint.
Hm? Oh, I'm ok, I'm just out of ideas for finding my adventurer the perfect gift for her quick venture. I feel like I've tried everything but nothing is good enough...
I know, I know, a lot of the retainers relax for 23 of the allotted hours and then fish a bit of malm kelp out the harbour on their way to report in, but that's not my style. I mean, I like my adventurer. She's the warrior of light, she's saved Eorzea so many times that I want to bring her back something to make her smile, you know?
But Baderon, I've tried everything. I mean it. I soloed garuda and gave her the sword, and I got this look that said 'do I look like a bleeding gladiator?' And she's not, I know this. Thal's balls, everyone knows this! But I tried so damned hard.
The next two times I went out I gave her fish.
Of course she wasn't impressed! But I had Halone's fury coursing through me, so the way her nose wrinkled at the smell, oh it was worth it!
I bet if I beat bahamut and presented her with his head to mount on the wall it still wouldn't be enough. To tell you the truth, I know it wouldn't. I gave her behemoth's head and what did she do? Only gave it straight back to me to sell on the auction house!
I'm at a loss, Baderon. There was this one time, I got so close to making her happy. I hold of some of that silver dye and she actually used it!
No. No... more of the dye isn't going to work. I thought it would, but she just shoved it in my bags for safekeeping. And trust me, I've tried other colours. She couldn't have been less impressed.
Huh? Baderon, she is not going to want that cat. No one is going to want a cat that fat. Seriously, what have you been feeding it?
Not to worry. I'm sure you'll find some lazy retainer willing to take it off your hands, but just like the malm kelp, that's not for me. If I keep making the effort, eventually I'll get it. I know I will.
How long do I have left to think of something this time? Good question. Less than usual - I took some time to recover from the last week's worth of venturing, but it's fine. I know I still need to think of something but I've got...
Baderon. Your clock... it's not accurate, is it?
Althyk save me! I've only got 5 minutes left! What am I going to do? I can't go back empty handed! Help!
No. Just no. The last thing she's ever going to want is that fat cat. I'd rather give her malm kelp that that wretched cat...
...
...
What's the quickest way to the harbour from here?

-----
Name: Ergy Pathfinder
World: Phoenix
Item: Mandragora choker

[Galis]

"I'm back, ma'am!" said a female, red-headed Miqo'te . "Hello? Are you there?"
"Who is the cutest kitty in the world? Who is?? Of course you are!"
Kätzchen smiled. "Oh ma'am, thank y..."
"Oh hi, Käztchen. How was your adventure?"

Then the Miqo'te realized what kitty was Lichte talking to. That damn coeurl kitten. Oh yeah, it was so cute that even she wanted to hug it. But she was a bit jealous too. She wanted to be the only kitty her mistress had. So she gave Lichte the reward of her adventure and thought about a plan.

That night, Kätzchen waited until Lichte fall asleep. The coeurl was sleeping next to her bed, so she took it. Even if she was training to became an archer, she knew some magical spells too. One of them was to change physical appearance. So she cast the spell and the kitten was transformed into an ugly morbol. The miqo'te came back to her bed smiling after leaving the new pet when it was before.

Next morning, Lichte woke up and the first thing she saw was a morbol. She started calling her kitten but it didn't appear. She called then her retainer. She suspected she had done something at the pet.
"Yes, ma'am?"
"Käztchen, have you seen my coeurl kitten this morning?"
"Uh, no, ma'am. Sorry."
"Are you sure? Don't lie to me."
"Maybe... it could be... I changed it a bit?"
"Into a morbol, you mean?"
"Yeah..."
"But why did you do something like that?"
"I was jealous, 'cause I used to be your only kitty and then that thing appeared and..."
"But, you don't need to be jealous! You're not a pet to me. You're my friend. I though you already knew that..."

Those simple words made Kätzchen feel better. She even removed the spell of the coeurl and patted it for the first time.
"Oooh, you're really cute. You know, if you were a grown Miqo'te instead of a little coeurl maybe we could..."
"Kätzchen! Leave the poor kitty!"
"Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am. Is there any adventure you want me to do?"

Character name: Lichte Kalten
World: Ragnarok
Prize: Bluebird Earring

[sirhc_xxoc]

The Forgotten Knight Ishguard's fines tavern (if you don't mind the riff raff and curs from the Brume) where adventurers and retainers alike go for some R&R. A favoured patron is the infamous Getmethat a retainer for the mighty warrior of light Sirhc Xxoc.

The summoning bell rings. "Oh seven hells that must <hic> be lord Xxoc" she says. "Gibrillont, find a mage to keep my ale cool. She uses the aether current to return to the summoning bell. “Well if it isn’t <hic> my favorite client always a pleasure sir (pray tell he’s learned a few words since or last encounter)” Sirhc makes a few hand gestures and nods. “….I wont let you down sir” she replies then disappears.

“Mayhap I shouldn’t have drank so <hic> much, why do I always get the strong silent types…. Still he’s so dreamy” she mutters to herself as she stumbles back to the forgotten knight. 45 minutes pass when she remembers her quick venture. “Oh Thals balls <hic> if I don’t return with some kinda of loot Master Xxoc will bugger me with a broad sword” she exclaims to herself in panic. “Gibrillont I must away.”

With only 5 minutes to go she rushes to the fishmonger. “Ah Getmethat my best customer (I wonder what she does with all these fish) pray forgive me but we are sold out ”. As she believed it was all over she spots a malm kelp on the floor that another adventurer had discarded. “Praise Halone <hic> I’m saved”. Just in the nick of time she makes it back to the summoning bell. “Good news sir <hic> the venture was a success, this calls for a <hic> drink” (the victory fanfare plays)

Sirhc is left looking puzzled as to why he has paid someone to get him a leaf but was happy it wasn’t another fish.



Character Name: Sirhc Xxoc
World Name: Excalibur
Choice: Scarf of Wondrous Wit
Retainer: Getmethat

[Euphris]

Character Name: Naoh'ra Ourana
World: Cerberus
Prize Choice: Ahriman Choker

Today was the day! Naoh'ir was going to prove himself a master Fisher to his brother by catching the Scourge of the Lake, a king amongst fish. He prepared himself for the task ahead, took his best gear and rod and set out with enthusiasm. When he arrived he perched himself near the edge of the water, shaded from the harsh sun by the nearby orchard. He was about to start with some practice casts when suddenly-

*SPLASH*

-Looking up in shock, he saw the Scourge of the Lake leap from the water, jaw clamped down on a smaller fish, it's scales shimmering in the sunlight. It crashed back down into the water. Naoh'ir /panic

[Euphris]

Character Name: Naoh'ra Ourana
World: Cerberus
Prize Choice: Ahriman Choker

Today was the day! Naoh'ir was going to prove himself a master Fisher to his brother by catching the Scourge of the Lake, a king amongst fish. He prepared himself for the task ahead, took his best gear and rod and set out with enthusiasm. When he arrived he perched himself near the edge of the water, shaded from the harsh sun by the nearby orchard. He was about to start with some practice casts when suddenly-

*SPLASH*

-Looking up in shock, he saw the Scourge of the Lake leap from the water, jaw clamped down on a smaller fish, it's scales shimmering in the sunlight. It crashed back down into the water. Naoh'ir panicked and tried to quickly cast his line but in the rush his back cast ended with his hook caught on a branch of the nearby tree..

*SNAP* *SPLASH*

..The Scourge had escaped.. The branch had snapped.. And Naoh'ir ended up in the lake..

He sighed and started to pack up his equipment. When reeling in the line, the branch that had snapped came with it. It had 4 beautiful lemons still on it...

Naoh'ir: "Well... when life gives you lemons..."

[HikiKai]

I am Claudstrype, a full-pledged retainer monk to my beloved Mistress. Serving her is bliss, however, I have found myself in panic whenever I am summoned lately. I had not been able to retrieve anything of much value during my recent explorations. Perhaps it is due to the heavy competition or just bad luck, but I hope my Mistress will not tire of my incompetence.

With this thought in mind, I set forth to Mor Dhona and arrived at the doorsteps of Emperor Xande where I was greeted by Sir Glasya Labolas.
"Oi, Strype! Been a while since you came around."
"Yes, Sir Glasya. My Mistress has been preoccupied lately...and short of venture coins for funding."
"Ah, I see. Sounds like you have been having it tough, too..."
"Something seems to be bothering you, Sir. It is rare for one to see you down here. If you will permit, I shall lend an ear to your woes."
"Strype!!!"

Several hours pass as Sir Glasya shared his story with me, how he and his co-workers feel unworthy to serve the Emperor as his subjects, unable to stop the pack of adventurers who barge in their tower to loot them.
"Thank you for listening to me, my good friend. I feel much better now."
"I am honored, Sir. Ah, but do forgive me, I must take my leave now, I am being summoned."
"Oh! It seems I've taken more of your time than I should have. Let me give you something in return! "
"Ah, you must not trouble yourself , Sir Glasya!"
"Nonsense! Just take it as from one Monk to another. Your Mistress is also one, right? What was her race again?"
"Ah...If you must insist. She is a Miqo'te, Sir Glasya."
"Wonderful! Take this! I am sure she will love it!"

And so, with Sir Glasya's gift, I return to my Mistress.
"I have come, Mistress."
"Welcome baaaack~"
"I have brought you a gift from Sir Glasya Labolas of the Syrcus Tower."
I hand it over to my Mistress and a moment of silence filled the room.
"...That's great and all, Strypey-chwon, but it's not written on the description of this..."
"Ah."
" Harbor Herring."
"..."
"Hmmmm..."
"...If that is all, I will take my leave now, Mistress."

From the warm markets of Ul'dah, I was re-dispatched in the markets of Ishgard.
"The breeze of Ishgard seem to have gotten colder recently..."

Character: Nyanchan Mochiko
World: Carbuncle
Preferred in-game Prize: Bluebird Earring

[Yakushimaru]

If a friend inquired about my Mistress, I’d tell them she was one of those particularly religious folk. Oddly, the lady blessed with the light of Hydaelyn does not send her fervent prayers to the Twelve nor the Mothercrystal.

No, instead she prays to the one she refers to as ‘RNGsus’, what nature of deity it is completely beyond me, but apparently he is supervised or directly controlled by a greater deity called ‘Yoshida’, this Chief deity is completely unknown to me and yet I always feel a certain sense of familiarity, like he truly exists, perhaps faith is genetically coded into me?

My lady also seems to be in constant battle against two fronts, her studies of some scholarly form of business and mercantile theory, and that twit named Alphinaud. Sure, he’s definitely a looker, like that cute flower girl who lived down at the corner back home, but whenever he opens his mouth, it’s always “Something big and totally not my fault has occurred! Please help Eorzea!” Quite annoying to later discover my lady had to travel across Eorzea and back again to clean up some mess the little brat caused.

The amount of travel my lady must do for her work is back breaking, and she returns much like a walking corpse. Not dead enough to bury, but too dead to gather any goods.

Today again, she crashes into the summoning bell, and bids me to go on a Quick venture. She’s always sent me on those ever since I came back with some pots of rare dye. It does me great pride seeing the Mistress use those dyes on her favourite clothes. However it seems to have set a precedent that is difficult to match.

Before handing me the two ventures and sending me on my way, the Mistress knelt and, as usual muttered her impassioned prayers to RNGsus. She told me, “Whatever is fine, surprise me! Just don’t get hurt and come back quickly.” Oh she is a lovely miss she is, beats Primals left and right, and yet cares for us retainers like family. I guess that’s her failing too, else she’d slap that Alphinaud right in the gob with a smelly fish.

I hit the markets, hoping that shady merchant had some stock of those dyes he trades me cheap for a single venture’s worth, I pocket the difference and family back home can eat for another moon. Lucky I’m not the gambling type, because best the little rat had was some “particularly delicious fishies”. Time was running short and I figured the mistress could probably whip up something delicious with some quality fish, so I closed the deal and rushed home. Guess who made a tidy profit too.

The Mistress received me with another bodily crash onto the Summoning Bell, and I presented to her the Catch of the Day, a fabulously High Quality Lominsan Anchovy. The Mistress simply shouted “Yoshidaaaaaa!” to the skies.

She was so happy she praised her deity.

Character name: Jakuri Jinno
World name: Tonberry
Prize: Bluebird Earring

[TinyCat]

Character name; Helian Thusse
World name; Brynhildr
Prize of choice; Ahriman Choker

My name is Frajaria.

I am 27 suns and 8 moons old.

For a living I am a retainer.

I hate it.

---------------------

Ring-ring.
He's back. He always forgets something, swapping a trinket with me or asking me if I've sold anything. If only he wouldn't interrupt my real work. Please just give me the token.

How ironic, he leaves me in the care of a bursting sack of tokens. Ah, but today is special, he takes another from his pocket and places it in my palm. It is time.

"Of course m'lord, where shall you have me go today, and to what end?"
Again, as last time, he passes me a marked map.
Again, as last time, he farewells me wordlessly.
"Of course m'lord, I shall not disappoint."

I make way to the destination immediately, the sands ahead of me quickly become the dunes behind, soon I am there. The air is still, sharp, the aether is dense. Much like my employer I am a student of the martial arts. My arms are drawn.

At this moment I am no longer a retainer, time is meaningless, I am not Frajaria.
I am force incarnate.

"An' who are you suppose'ta be luv?"
"Ooh, lookie here boys, some chickybage ginger's here to show us a good time!"

Every set of crooked teeth gleaming in the torchlight produces it's own distinct, sinister chuckle. The chorus distils my focus.

"You shiteheads bloody bind? Lookit her jacket, she's wunna them Warrior of Light's personal gophers, them there retainers hafta offer diplomacy before they belt the snot outta ya."
"Aw piss, I ain't doing the tango with no sheila that fights like the fella who sent the black wolf home in a box."
"Be a real darl and do ya little speech so's we can pack up, we'll turn over a new leaf, I swears it on me Mum."

My heartbeat slows. Peace washes over me, I am ready to do what is right.

"No."

---------------------

Ring-ring.
He's back.

"M'lord, your will has been done."
For every token that he had left in my care that morning, there are as many teeth in the bag I drop at his feet.
The smile on his face shows his approval. Being a retainer is the near unbearable symptom of the privilege to help and train under the Warrior of Light.
I am given another token and before my shadow has lengthened I am northbound for the winterlands on another mission.

My name is Frajaria.

I am 27 suns and 8 moons old.

For a living I am a retainer.

And I love it.

[Moonglow]

Character: F'reya Sunburst
server: (Ragnarok)
Item : Ahriman Choker


Outside, a roaring, high pitched screeching filled the air, as the sandstorm forced its way through holes and past sharp edges in the massive canyon walls. Akin to a starving wild beast, it appeared out of nowhere and hungrily swallowed the world whole in one fell swoop. Dissonance had found the safety of a large rift, torn deep into the hard red stone of the wall ,just in time. However , reaching shelter came with a price. Half of the painfully gathered loot had to be left behind , most of it likely spread widely troughout all of the Ala Mhigan desert by now.

Absently, the elezen woman pulled the cork of the hard leather covered bottle from her belt, and dripped its soothing contents over her face in an attempt to wash off the burning from her eyes. She would end up returning with hastily scrambled, third rate goods once again, earning herself another lecture from her harsh mistress. Dissonance's legs gave in at the thought. Collapsing like a lifeless ragdoll, she hit the stony cavern floor hard with her bottom. Her limbs felt heavy with resignation and refused to move any further.

Tired, she decided to take a moment to gather herself , and allowed her weary mind a moment of respite, swaying back to pleasant memories long past. Rumors of a way to support the grand heroes of Eorzea, discovering the world along the way, had woken her from the nightmare of a monotonous Limsa'n farmer's life. Hand's trembling with anticipation, she had spilled the dark ink on the Retainer employment contract and her employer lady. The mishap had dyed her sleeves in royal blue, and to this day , even though her mistress' masterfully crafted armor had replaced her cheap farmer's rag's long ago, it sometimes seemed like some of the blue had still remained on her skin. Yes, it was a straining job, and at times a thankless one at that, but such was the price of the freedom she had sought for herself. One day , she would stand beside the legend she served as their equal.

The thought of the decision she made that day rekindled her determination. Dissonance pulled the bag lying beside her to herself , and hastily scoured it's sandy insides for some remaining salvagable contents. Several of the glass bottles, filled with various monster blood types she had gathered , were cracked or outright broken and their value had leaked along with their contents. The fluids had dripped into the large batch of Allagan silks and stunk horribly from Morbol secretions. Most of the wares shared the same ill fate. Dissonance's eyes grew wide with panic. Her hands dug deep into any pocket that might have remained untouched and sure enough - after a while of fervent search, one single batch of malm kelp leaves appeared to have survived the onslaught mostly unharmed. A bitter frown formed on Dissonance's face. One day , she would be a legend herself. Today however, this would have to suffice.