Except FFXIV is a Final Fantasy game first and a MMO second. FF games have always been story-based games, where gameplay is merely a means to move the story along. This is the same with FFXIV - content is locked behind storyline completion, and thus as the expansion is an extension of the storyline, little wonder it requires you to be up to date in the main scenario to access the new 'bells and whistles'. Really, FFXIV has more of an emphasis on the 'RPG' part of MMORPG' rather than the 'MMO' side.

It's unfortunate that you had a bad experience with running Castrum Meridanium and the Praetorium with speedrunning, but really, you should speak out and stay your ground. If they weren't willing to let you experience the dungeon how it's meant to be played (with cutscenes), let them stew and sulk or let them drop the party and suffer their penalty. Fortunately CM/The Praetorium are the only truly cutscene heavy dungeons in the game, so you shouldn't have that trouble of people forcing you to skip cutscenes any more.