I think the main problem with this game is the lack up constant updates. I know the game is still changing with every patch, but all that does is cause conflicts between the casual and the hardcore players.
With this current patch, quite a bit has changed. Guildleve's are a pain in the ass to do solo, the new gear system completely gimps you even if one level under the recommended level, etc. While the hardcore players might be having a blast with the new mechanics, the casual player (which I consider myself, only because I can't devote a lot of time to the game, not because of the preexisting notion that casual automatically means someone who is awful at games and has to have their hand held at every possible moment) is finding the game less enjoyable. I'm like you, I love the game, I just don't want to play it.
What I think could help fix this problem, would be Square updating the game more than once every three months. That's frankly too much time between major updates. Add a dungeon variation every few weeks. This doesn't even have to consist of MAJOR content, just adjust the monster spawns inside, and randomize some loot (color changes, stat variation, etc.) so the hardcore players can constantly feel like they're being challenged. Meanwhile, you can keep the solo content, such as Guildleve's (which, I'd like to point out, was supposed to be the main focus of the game, aside from the Armory System prior to this) in tact so players who don't have a lot of time, can still play the game and feel like they're getting something accomplished. I honestly don't see people complaining nearly as much if they have to run through the same looking instanced area as long as they had new stuff to work for, because that's basically all they want. If you constantly add stuff for people to work for, they'll do it.
Since this patch, I've struggled to rank myself up, because I work at night, so none of my friends are usually on during my peak times. I don't have a problem partying with people, I have a problem relying on random shouts in the city I happen to be in. A seek party system will fix this issue, but that isn't the point of this post.
Please Square-Enix, try and focus on both sides.